Elite: Training Wheels

Darth Ender · Feb 16, 2015

The OP's proposed game would be better if it was single player and nobody else but me played it. That way I could talk about how awesome it is and how crazy good I am at the game and everyone else would be jealous.

Elite: Training Wheels ruined a perfectly good and undoubtedly way more awesome game by making it multiplayer and being popular enough to attract a wide playerbase where my skills will be exposed for the uncoordinated mess that they are!

Surly_Badger · Feb 16, 2015

Darth Ender said:
The OP's proposed game would be better if it was single player and nobody else but me played it.

That is a brilliant idea!! You could forsee a whole market for games that are single-copy, made custom for the player. Then you could order "Dragon Slashfest Supreme IV" and be the only person who played it - and you could write glowing reviews about its "blood-pumping insane level of difficulty in the game-play - this is a game for only the most hard of the hardcore!" and everyone would be jealous.

The actual game consists of installing it, then clicking "KILL IT" when the "OK?" button pops up. Then it exits with a kickass cut-scene of you ruling the universe.

tagos · Feb 16, 2015

Here OP. Have some more straw. You must have exhausted all the supplies in your local area.

Surly_Badger · Feb 16, 2015

barcode said:
I'm very disappointed there is no button I can press to automatically win the game for me.

What do you mean? Just click "Install" and then mash "KILL IT" a few times. Everyone's a winner!

- - - - - Additional Content Posted / Auto Merge - - - - -

tagos said:
Here OP. Have some more straw. You must have exhausted all the supplies in your local area.

Someday, grasshopper, if you ask, I will teach you how to snark like a pro. In the meantime, practice, practice, practice!

Shude · Feb 16, 2015

I wish it were as simple as the OP suggests - I've been grinding at this for minutes and have only made it from zero to "most average amazing dude". C'mon guys, I only need another 50 deathstars and I'm outta here.

Cadarnfel · Mar 2, 2015

I realise my views won't be popular, but

;

If this game is still in development, can I suggest some gameplay enhancements for V3.14159? Just to improve the experience?

A "SCAN NOW" button that will scan every system/planet/moon/asteroid belt in the galaxy at the same time, and overwrite the discovered by tag

A "TRADE NOW" button that will immediately trade every single commodity at every station to the station offering the best price, all at the same time

And, for those players who can't wait, an "ELITE NOW" button, that makes the player Elite in Combat / Trading / Exploring / Mining / Whinging immediately, and pops up a window saying "You've won the internet".

Katkon · Mar 2, 2015

I like it, OP. I think all these features have enormous potential, though I would humbly suggest one added feature to the game: when a player first logs on s/he will be presented with all the usual options plus "Insta-win". Clicking on said option results in a congratulatory message - preferably a recorded message from David personally - that informs the player that s/he has "won" Elite and unlocked everything available in-game including limitless credits.

Surly_Badger · Mar 2, 2015

Katkon said:
when a player first logs on s/he will be presented with all the usual options plus "Insta-win". Clicking on said option results in a congratulatory message

Maybe I could have it go to a screen which requests $50 via Paypal. If they pay up, they win, get the cut scenes, and a zillion squajillion dollars and 13 of each of the ships in the game.

ShadowWolf Kell · Mar 2, 2015

It's already been NERFed.

Surly_Badger · Mar 2, 2015

ShadowWolf Kell said:
It's already been NERFed.

That'll be one of the new ships in a future expansion.

Well, we'll say we're gonna do a future expansion, but we won't actually. That way players will hate the game but stick around in the forums going "I WANT MY BICYCLE!"

Kowboat · Mar 2, 2015

Surly_Badger said:
Someday, grasshopper, if you ask, I will teach you how to snark like a pro. In the meantime, practice, practice, practice!

Ooh! Here, let me try:

"Get bent."

Nope, guess I don't have it either. Oh well.

Phier · Mar 2, 2015

Wait...this game already has training wheels on it.

MarcusKross · Jun 3, 2015

Oh my sides

TruffleSnout · Jun 3, 2015

Needs a KILL IT NOW AND FOREVER button, because I can only log in for 3.7 seconds every month. And if I don't get the same chance of winning as everyone else I am going to be very FORUM ANGRY.

EUS · Jun 3, 2015

Did someone mention pizza as a reward?

MarcusKross · Jun 3, 2015

TruffleSnout said:
Needs a KILL IT NOW AND FOREVER button, because I can only log in for 3.7 seconds every month. And if I don't get the same chance of winning as everyone else I am going to be very FORUM ANGRY.

STAHP please

people are giving me weird looks cos i am laughing out loud.

Surly_Badger · Jun 3, 2015

EUS said:
Did someone mention pizza as a reward?

By clicking the "KILL IT" button on a planetary ring your deathstar will automatically mine it into pizza or platinum bars, depending on the module settings tab you defaulted for your refinery module.

I saw some other commenters suggested "MINE IT" and "EXPLORE IT" buttons. We've reviewed those suggestions and feel they will make the interface too complicated. The game will decide based on your deathstar configuration and/or what you're pointing at whether it should mine it, kill it, or explore it (or all three at once) -- based on a single mash of the "KILL IT" button.

Casual players won't have time to learn the buttons if there is more than one and there has been a lot of negative feedback in the forums about the "MINE IT" button.

Surly_Badger · Jun 3, 2015

1.4 feature

For 1.4 we are thinking of adding a drone that will automatically click the "KILL IT" button for you if you are AFK. We're tentatively calling it the "DO IT" drone. To balance the game, using the "DO IT" drone will incur a 10% across-the-board efficiency surcharge. So if you are AFK and you mine a planetary ring, you'll get 10% less pizza.

We expect this feature will generate a lot of forum traffic and then when we actually release 1.4 we'll leave it out and go "neener neener neener made you whinge made you whinge"

Terry Bruge-Hiplo · Jun 3, 2015

iain666 said:
I'd rep you but apparently I have been doing that too much of late.

This!

I hope the single player version will be available as a physical copy carved into pure granite blocks that requires a granite-rom reader (sold seperately) for those of us who still get our Internets from AOL in the 90's...

MarcusKross · Jun 3, 2015

Surly_Badger said:
For 1.4 we are thinking of adding a drone that will automatically click the "KILL IT" button for you if you are AFK. We're tentatively calling it the "DO IT" drone. To balance the game, using the "DO IT" drone will incur a 10% across-the-board efficiency surcharge. So if you are AFK and you mine a planetary ring, you'll get 10% less pizza.

We expect this feature will generate a lot of forum traffic and then when we actually release 1.4 we'll leave it out and go "neener neener neener made you whinge made you whinge"

%10 less pizza is UNACCEPTABLE! First give me a FridgeDeathstar to store my leftover pizza while on it compensate me with a bajazillion credits for the cringe you have caused.