I somewhat agree with (some of) the problems the OP mentions. ED has a lot of good and cool ideas, but sometimes they don't match in my opinion.
Disclaimer: Please add "In my opinion" and "I think" and similar things to what I write - it's my opinion and my points of view and not fact or religious dogma. So relax.
Community and Developers
I think it's important for the community and the developers to understand why some players are unhappy with the game and why this is a problem. Unhappy players can become quickly people who don't play the game and that can result in bad PR. It's often said that all PR is good PR, but I don't think that's the case in most situations. It's the way others perceive the game that matters, not the way it really is.
I guess it's incredible hard for the developers to find out what the community as a whole (all players) want and how they can create something that makes everybody happy.
Communicating the decisions, plans and ideas to the community is - in my opinion - very important. That way the players know what the game is about and in what direction the game is heading. I think FD could be a bit better in this regard, but they are improving.
The community is equally important to the success of this game as the game itself. Not only how players behave in the game, but equally what they write on the forum. It all adds up to the way a player or a potential buyer sees the game. Every player who stops playing this game because of the responses to a thread in this forum hurts the game.
The cost of ship destruction
The current system of insurance and the option to lose everything certainly adds thrill and risk to the game. It forces the player to think about his actions. It's a way to make things meaningful. That's good.
The bad thing is, the system isn't balanced. The destruction of a ship is terrible for someone who doesn't have a lot of credits and it's completely meaningless for someone who has a lot of cr. Those who have lots of credits can play this game in a completely different way than someone who has just enough cr. to pay the insurance 2-3 times. The whole system encourages players to attack the weak in superior ships. It's basically a game mechanic that can be used to prevent others to get ships that can become a threat.
Grinding
Some like it, others don't. The problem is, that it's needed. A player needs to have lots of money to be able to afford losing a ship once or twice. A player has to grind to be able to buy a bigger ship if he doesn't want to be obliterated in seconds by a CMDR in a bigger ship.
It would be cool if a player could fly around in a Sidewinder, earning enough money for insurance while doing something that matters without being in a death trap and the prime target for everybody else. That way losing everything and being back in the Sidewinder wouldn't hurt that much.
I like the small ships, but the game doesn't offer that much for me to fly those ships. They have no purpose beside being stepping stones to the bigger ones. To get those bigger ships you have to grind.
Having to grind to keep the reputation rank is making things worse. One of the advantages of being allied to a faction is, that you get more and better missions (from my experience). The missions are one of the few things that are doable with small ships without grinding.
I think no player should have to grind to enjoy a game, grinding should add something that is nice to have but not needed.
So, that's my wall of text for this thread
Fly save and with insurance CMDRs!