The shape of things to come

Goose4291 · Dec 17, 2017

Scene: The year is 2019. Chad and Buck are two gamers playing The Hunter on a multiplayer server and are in a hide, waiting for a deer to show up.

Chad: We'll we laid some scent down and have made a couple of mating calls. He's bound to show up soon.

*Fifteen minutes pass and nothing happens. Suddenly a flicker of movement and a deer gingerly enters the clearing. Its Bucks turn for a kill so he begins to set up his shot.*

Buck: You know, a lot of people don't get this game, I'm glad we do.

*The deer freezes. It stands its ears pricked to the wind. Out of the treeline an Elite Dangerous fanboy appears making as much noise as possible, scaring the deer off.*

Buck: What the hell are you.doing?
EDFB: How dare you shoot that defenceless pixel animal! Virtual meat is murder.
Chad: What the.... errr..... you do realise this is a game in which you use guns to shoot animals?
EDFB: That's not the point. You have deep rooted psychological issues no doubt leading to you exhibiting this outburst of unintellectual behaviour.
Buck: But... we've got guns...
EDFB: No. THAT IS YOUR CHOICE YOU OPPRESSIVE NONGENDER SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL. This game is about exploring, hiking and excellent visuals.
Chad: ......
EDFB: Exactly. You have no comeback. I used to play a game where you had guns and aliens
Buck: Could you shoot the aliens?
EDFB: THATS NOT THE POINT. Sadly the devs didnt listen to my demands as a kickstarter backer, and continued to make the game about combat. Thats why I left... to come here for the exploring and hiking and tell a new batch of people how to play their game properly.
Chad: I see....
Buck: Err okay. Thats a bit weird.. say I know a server where people do VR hiking, want me to send you the details?
EDFB: How dare you dictate to me how to play my game, you facist!. I want to play on this server. Because my game choices are ethically 'better' that yours in the real world in this means Im better than you as a person so Im in the right....
Chad: .....
EDFB: Hang on.. I'll be back in two minutes. I need to log into CoD WWII for a few minutes... someones shooting a medic

Genus · Dec 17, 2017

That's the shape of things yesterday.

babelfisch · Dec 17, 2017

That was neither intelligent nor funny but in the wrong subforum.

Riverside · Dec 17, 2017

Poor analogy.

Slightly interesting insight into the way some think of the game though.

Augustus · Dec 17, 2017

There's WAY Too Much Dialogue in your Example...

There should have been a BANG!!! In there Somewhere!

EDFB: You're Not Doing It Right! Blah Blah Blah...
Chad: Well Partner, I Do Believe You Are Correct...
Jimmy: BANG!!! How Ya Like Me Now?!?
Chad: Welcome To Texas!

[alien]

Fly High, Drunk And Stoned CMDR's!

-gus

Powderpanic · Dec 17, 2017

That looks to me like non consensual PVE.

Genus · Dec 17, 2017

Goose4291 said:
my game choices...

As a result, you can probably file the replies into two buckets.

Those that engage with the OP, and those that it's about.

Cmdr Eagleboy · Dec 17, 2017

Can anyone explain what is OP about?

Yes, lot of what FD has done has been about combat. It has changed recently and it looks Beyond updates will be mostly about other parts of the game.

Or I don't understand dat salt?

Genus · Dec 17, 2017

I rest my case.

Schmack · Dec 17, 2017

More like "can't shoot him with this gun any more, it was outlawed. We have to buy the DLC for the new gun"

I played The Hunter, it was quite the bait and switch routine.

CMDR Zadian Lichtfrost · Dec 17, 2017

Goose4291 said:
…
Scene: The year is 2019. Chad and Buck are two gamers playing The Hunter on a multiplayer server and are in a hide, waiting for a deer to show up.

Chad: We'll we laid some scent down and have made a couple of mating calls. He's bound to show up soon.

*Fifteen minutes pass and nothing happens. Suddenly a flicker of movement and a deer gingerly enters the clearing. Its Bucks turn for a kill so he begins to set up his shot.*

Buck: You know, a lot of people don't get this game, I'm glad we do.

…

What really happens next:

*BAM* *BAM*
Chad and Buck look at the dead bodies of their avatars.

A PvPProBro comes out of the hiding and teabags the dead avatars.

Chad: What are you doing? This is a game about hunting deer!

PvPProBro: Git Gud. This is a multiplayer game. If you play a multiplayer game you accept everything that happens.

Buck: But it's about hunting deer. We spend quite some time tracking down that deer.

PvPProBro: It's called "The Hunt" and I RP a terrorist hunting the hunters. It's legit emergent gameplay!

Chad: But you are ruining our gameplay. It's not fun.

PvPProBro: Ah, that tasty care bear salt.

Buck: Come on Chad, we join a private server.

PvPProBro: In stead of hiding in a private server you should git gud and learn how to play this game properly. Fight back and don't hid like cowards.

PvPProBro: Hey, come back. I will report you for hunt-logging!

Later:
PvPProBro on the "The Hunt" forum:
We need more players in multi-player. There should be better rewards for killing deer. Logging out via the menu should be punished and not possible. …

Ian Skippy · Dec 17, 2017

Cmdr Eagleboy said:
Can anyone explain what is OP about?

Yes, lot of what FD has done has been about combat. It has changed recently and it looks Beyond updates will be mostly about other parts of the game.

Or I don't understand dat salt?

Its supposed to be light hearted jibe aimed at those taking the idea of thargoid killing a little too seriously.

Powderpanic · Dec 17, 2017

Ohwow.

Could they hide it in a deeper sub forum?

Goose4291 · Dec 17, 2017

sleutelbos said:
Its supposed to be a sarcastic post about how misunderstood and mistreated griefers are.

It was more a light hearted jibe aimed at those taking the idea of thargoid killing a little too seriously. Note how there is no reference to PvP in my post?

Goose4291 · Dec 17, 2017

CMDR Zadian Lichtfrost said:
What really happens next:

*BAM* *BAM*
Chad and Buck look at the dead bodies of their avatars.

A PvPProBro comes out of the hiding and teabags the dead avatars.

Chad: What are you doing? This is a game about hunting deer!

PvPProBro: Git Gud. This is a multiplayer game. If you play a multiplayer game you accept everything that happens.

Buck: But it's about hunting deer. We spend quite some time tracking down that deer.

PvPProBro: It's called "The Hunt" and I RP a terrorist hunting the hunters. It's legit emergent gameplay!

Chad: But you are ruining our gameplay. It's not fun.

PvPProBro: Ah, that tasty care bear salt.

Buck: Come on Chad, we join a private server.

PvPProBro: In stead of hiding in a private server you should git gud and learn how to play this game properly. Fight back and don't hid like cowards.

PvPProBro: Hey, come back. I will report you for hunt-logging!

Later:
PvPProBro on the "The Hunt" forum:
We need more players in multi-player. There should be better rewards for killing deer. Logging out via the menu should be punished and not possible. …

Last time I played, I think it booted you from the server for kllling other players.

Goose4291 · Dec 17, 2017

Schmack said:
More like "can't shoot him with this gun any more, it was outlawed. We have to buy the DLC for the new gun"

I played The Hunter, it was quite the bait and switch routine.

Oh god yeah. I was lucky when i played it a few years back. A mate of mine had acquired weapon purchases for free.

Nothing quite like shooting deer with a musket pretending to be daniel day lewis

Kaocraft · Dec 17, 2017

It's not called "The Hunter" because you are meant to hunt animals. That's a popular misconception, but the game is not about hunting at all. The game is so-named because it refers to the type of jacket your character wears.

Goose4291 · Dec 17, 2017

Kaocraft said:
It's not called "The Hunter" because you are meant to hunt animals. That's a popular misconception, but the game is not about hunting at all. The game is so-named because it refers to the type of jacket your character wears.

Well played sir, well played.

Ian Skippy · Dec 18, 2017

Goose4291 said:
It was more a light hearted jibe aimed at those taking the idea of thargoid killing a little too seriously. Note how there is no reference to PvP in my post?

Fair enough, post rectified.

VR Mr Teatime · Dec 18, 2017

Scene: The year is 2019. Chad and Buck are two gamers playing The Hunter on a multiplayer server and are in a hide, waiting for a deer to show up.

Chad: We'll we laid some scent down and have made a couple of mating calls. He's bound to show up soon.

*Fifteen minutes pass and nothing happens. Suddenly a flicker of movement and a deer gingerly enters the clearing. Its Bucks turn for a kill so he begins to set up his shot.*

Buck: You know, a lot of people don't get this game, I'm glad we do.

*The deer freezes. It stands its ears pricked to the wind. Out of the treeline an Elite Dangerous fanboy appears making as much noise as possible, scaring the deer off.*

Buck: What the hell are you.doing?

EDFB: LOOK OUT!!! (turns to run)

Chad: What f..

Chad and Buck start screaming as their bodies are pierced by the spines at the end of two of the "arms" of two strange striped six-limbed life forms that silently crept up on the men whilst they were focused on the deer and have pounced on them. Chad and Buck try to struggle against the creatures' grip but the barbs on the spine fingers prevent escape and the enzyme they have been injected with is now rapidly dissolving their bones. As the toxin spreads outwards from the wound sites the men's bodies appear to be melting and and in a matter of seconds this effect has spread to the chest and abdominal cavities, which deflate as the ribs are eaten from the inside, suffocating them both and bringing near silence back to the scene. The enzymes attack the men's spines, with both barely recognizable men appeariing to slump like wax works under a blow torch into flaccid balloons of skin containing their liquefied innards. Their skulls are the last bone structures to dissolve and just before they expire to asphyxiation, the creatures bury their lamprey like faces into the remains and start consuming their meals.

From a nearby hillside, EDFB climbs back into his SRV and guns the vehicle away from the site towards his Asp Explorer...shaking his head he mutters "I tried to tell them it's Dangerous here"...