There is certainly no shortage of old dudes willing to give advice and tell you about the "good 'ol days" hanging around this forum
General / Off-Topic Okay, I'm going to be straight with you.
There is certainly no shortage of old dudes willing to give advice and tell you about the "good 'ol days" hanging around this forum
Deleted member 110222
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There is certainly no shortage of old dudes willing to give advice and tell you about the "good 'ol days" hanging around this forum
Haha, don't I know it! Definitely a reason I like being here.
Pretty common for us aspergers blokes to pick older company.
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Well, I can't reveal my age, but what I will say is, I was around when Neil Armstrong was walking around on the moon and leave it at that. Anyways hope all the advice in the thread is useful to you.
There is certainly no shortage of old dudes willing to give advice and tell you about the "good 'ol days" hanging around this forum
Yes it's a retirement home here
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Well, I can't reveal my age, but what I will say is, I was around when Neil Armstrong was walking around on the moon and leave it at that. Anyways hope all the advice in the thread is useful to you.
To be honest, in all my years I have never found any advice anyone ever gave me about relationships useful. Just saying.
Deleted member 110222
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I'm working on things...
There is certainly no shortage of old dudes willing to give advice and tell you about the "good 'ol days" hanging around this forum
I disagree. There is no age requirement in understanding that there never were any good ol' days here. It's just history repeating itself over and over again........
@OP: Take care and best wishes.
Bob Lighthouse
Banned
I don't know you, but knowing when to shut up and listen never hurt anyone in these matters.
Above all else have fun!
I'm rooting for you.
The dragon made me smile.
Above all else have fun!
I'm rooting for you.
The dragon made me smile.
Agreed. Somebody once said something like "You have two ears and one mouth. There is a reason for this. Use them in these proportions". Make sure you don't just LISTEN to what she is saying, you HEAR it as well. If, for example, she were to say something like "I don't like roses" make sure you remember that, so you don't ever buy her roses on Valentines' Day! If, however, she says that she wants to go somewhere but she has nobody to go with she has dropped a small hint that maybe YOU would like to go there with her.
Do you remember me telling you about the books by Desmond Morris? Now might be a good time to get them out from the library. Amongst other things he covers how the genders communicate. Man, for example, only communicates on one or two levels. Woman, however, can communicate on half a dozen levels or more. This is why there can be some much confusion when men and women are talking to each other.
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Polish your shoes, brush your teeth, comb hair, be polite, dont rush and wear clean pants
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Well, I can't reveal my age, but what I will say is, I was around when Neil Armstrong was walking around on the moon and leave it at that. Anyways hope all the advice in the thread is useful to you.
+Rep just for the avatar!
Deleted member 110222
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I think the big dilemma I am facing, is that there's no getting around the fact that ultimately, this involves another human being.
I've always been extremely cautious when dealing with anything that isn't just myself.
I've always been extremely cautious when dealing with anything that isn't just myself.
Deleted member 110222
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Here's another detail I should share. We have been on one date. One. About three years ago.
After that day, I said that for the moment, I couldn't do anything but be friends. Nothing more.
Given the psychotic attacks I had a few months later, I stand by my belief that holding things off back then was the right call. Ultimately, no harm came her way.
Of course I'm a lot more stable now, now that I've gotten into the habit of taking my medication. Medication she knows about, BTW.
After that day, I said that for the moment, I couldn't do anything but be friends. Nothing more.
Given the psychotic attacks I had a few months later, I stand by my belief that holding things off back then was the right call. Ultimately, no harm came her way.
Of course I'm a lot more stable now, now that I've gotten into the habit of taking my medication. Medication she knows about, BTW.
All that is brilliant and beautiful, yet terribly tragic, depending on what way you look at it.
But.
Can you come away, at your own pace, from the 'extremely' word? That's the key word, to me, in what you said.
Deleted member 110222
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Aye I know. Problem is that the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. Especially her.
But accidentally, you're going to and she's going to hurt you too. It's sadly part of the package, which I'm sure you know! You're not going to get it right. Nope. Forget that. You're going to screw up small bits of it, big bits of it, who knows. You will. She will.
IMO forgiveness is the most important lesson, maybe the only real lesson (which I'm shocking at learning) and a relationship teaches that in spades.
A relationship does not teach perfection or being bullet-proof. If you can do a relationship without hurt, please come and tell me. I'll write it all down and sell it for millions.
If you are not in the place to have a relationship, there is nothing wrong with not having one and doing your own thing. Clearly what you did 3 years ago was incredibly mature.
I apologise if I'm droning on. Whoever she is, I think she's lucky to have such a caring person in her life.
Surely if she accidentally hurt you, you would forgive her. So you must respect her to have the power to do the same?
IMO forgiveness is the most important lesson, maybe the only real lesson (which I'm shocking at learning) and a relationship teaches that in spades.
A relationship does not teach perfection or being bullet-proof. If you can do a relationship without hurt, please come and tell me. I'll write it all down and sell it for millions.
If you are not in the place to have a relationship, there is nothing wrong with not having one and doing your own thing. Clearly what you did 3 years ago was incredibly mature.
I apologise if I'm droning on. Whoever she is, I think she's lucky to have such a caring person in her life.
As Spacebaboy said, there will be times you cause others pain. This is unavoidable. So long as it is unintentional it can be forgiven (and learned from, so it does not happen again). However, what you want to be trying for is to give others pleasure. Once you find what makes people happy you will want to do it again (giving pleasure is an enjoyable experience in itself). However, do not go too far in making people happy, as it can end up spoiling things. For example, I like Boursin cheese. I will only get it every couple of months or so. If I got it every week the attraction would soon fade.
One thing I am know for is telling jokes (though they are, sometimes, groaners). Once I told a colleague a medically related joke. He flipped out, and was close to hitting me. This seriously strained the atmosphere at work, and it took him a week before I could talk to him again. The first thing I did was to apologise. I then asked what I had done that caused him so much pain. He looked at me, and asked if I had known about his brother. I did not, and I told him this. It turned out that, a couple of years earlier, his younger brother had been playing in a football match when he collapsed and died (from the medical condition in the joke). I was mortified, and he could see that. It took a little more time, but we ended up remaining friends. While I still tell jokes, I never tell him medical jokes (unless he starts with them himself, and even then I am very careful).
One thing I am know for is telling jokes (though they are, sometimes, groaners). Once I told a colleague a medically related joke. He flipped out, and was close to hitting me. This seriously strained the atmosphere at work, and it took him a week before I could talk to him again. The first thing I did was to apologise. I then asked what I had done that caused him so much pain. He looked at me, and asked if I had known about his brother. I did not, and I told him this. It turned out that, a couple of years earlier, his younger brother had been playing in a football match when he collapsed and died (from the medical condition in the joke). I was mortified, and he could see that. It took a little more time, but we ended up remaining friends. While I still tell jokes, I never tell him medical jokes (unless he starts with them himself, and even then I am very careful).