I'm confused. If you don't want to eventually be riding this girl like Seabiscuit, er, I mean becoming "romantically entangled," then what do you want? If you aren't interested in adding romance to the mix, it sounds like you're already good friends, in which case just keep doing what you were already doing.
General / Off-Topic Okay, I'm going to be straight with you.
I'm confused. If you don't want to eventually be riding this girl like Seabiscuit, er, I mean becoming "romantically entangled," then what do you want? If you aren't interested in adding romance to the mix, it sounds like you're already good friends, in which case just keep doing what you were already doing.
Deleted member 110222
D
Well, okay, there is definitely "a" physical attraction. What I mean to say is, I'm not foaming at the mouth for "action". I have a lot of patience for that kind of thing.
Now we're talking!
At the same time, she could meet Mr Right while you show friendly restraint and settle down with someone else while you watch from the sidelines regretting your indecision.
Life is too short, give it a go.
You know, Bob, despite fundamental differences of opinion regarding PvP in ED, I find myself agreeing with you on a lot of issues that come up in Off Topic. Kind of funny, really.
That's because in off topic we don't constantly bicker about the trivial difference there is in our views on the correct way to fly video game spaceships.
Group hug?
I like how Uni's threads seem to bring people together.
![[VR] optimal_909](https://forums-cdn.zaonce.net/data/avatars/m/109/109067.jpg?1553781733){kind=avatar}
Yeah, best way to frighten off a girl is by dumping the feelings on her too early. Let it develop naturally!
At the end, the best rule is 'never show weakness'.
Obviously without knowing any of the people involved it's very hard to give good advice, but what I would say is: if you you don't ask her out then you may end up regretting it for a long time. If you do ask her out then you'll at least know one way or the other what her feelings for you are.
Personally I'd prefer to know one way or the other but ultimately it's your decision to make.
What I will say is this: over 2 decades ago I almost missed the opportunity to get to know a girl who would eventually become my first girlfriend. And that would have been a shame, because I ended up marrying her.
Well, I think technically she married me. I'm not sure I had much say in the matter
Good luck
Last edited:
Deleted member 110222
D
Obviously without knowing any of the people involved it's very hard to give good advice, but what I would say is: if you you don't ask her out then you may end up regretting it for a long time. If you do ask her out then you'll at least know one way or the other what her feelings for you are.
Personally I'd prefer to know one way or the other but ultimately it's your decision to make.
What I will say is this: over 2 decades ago I almost missed the opportunity to get to know a girl who would eventually become my first girlfriend. And that would have been a shame, because I ended up marrying her.
Well, I think technically she married me. I'm not sure I had much say in the matter
Good luck
Aye, I get what you're saying. Truly.
It's just the double whammy of aspergers in both parties that makes things difficult. I don't want to scare her. I need to figure out a way to say how I feel without being overbearing or what have you.
Again with the caveat that I don't know either of you, but: that may actually help. Both my wife and I are on the spectrum, and it's worked out nicely for us because we understand why we do what we do and like what we like.
Deleted member 110222
D
This is true.
I think this is not about either opening up and telling your feelings or leaving this opportunity walk away.
It is like the foot massage as described by Vincent Vega. Just meet her, go and do stuff together. On paper it means nothing, but she'll know enough about your intentions without putting her into a position that she'll has to say yes or no, full stop.
If you open up your feeling early and you get rejected, it may do lasting damage to your confidence - which could have a knock-on effect the next time you are in such a situation. And I recon you are young, so...
Anyway, at least this the approach which worked out the best for me, as said above, all situations/persons are different.
This is wonderful. [heart]
Un1k0rn, just take things slow. Movie and dinner is a great idea. The temptation to say and do too much at the beginning can be difficult to resist, but just be considerate, patient and.....wait....you said she is studying 3D modelling!?!
There is your key, right there.
If she is interested in the games industry, introduce her, gently now, gently to Elite. Buy her an account, create a private group just for yourselves and do stuff together in the game. Don't put any pressure on her, just let her do things at her own pace and stand ready to help her when she needs or asks for it. it's important you allow her to make mistakes here and there but not to the extent that the game becomes a frustration to her. It's a great ice breaker and you will find yourself answering loads of questions new players to the game always have. Also (and this is important) try to learn how FD creates the models in the game, get her to look at them and give her opinion.
Now, girls are not usually interested in such a game like Elite but (thankfully) there is much more to do in Elite that just pew pew as we all know and besides, we need more girls in Elite! Also if 3D modelling is interesting for her, Elite is full of em.
If successful, and she grows to like the game and finds it's models interesting, then the next part is to get her to consider applying to actually work for FD later on once she starts to build her portfolio; we need more ships! You never know, making an early application she can have a talk with them, maybe even do an internship if they do that sort of thing (I bet they do) and she can focus on the stuff they need. FD would love that someone wants to learn skills they actually need and that could lead to a job.
So, you build a solid friendship using Elite as an icebreaker, that could lead to other things (what those other things could be depends on a lot of other things so you just gotta play it by ear), and you help her out with a career too in the games industry in a damn good games company.
Finally, may I wish you the best of luck, best of luck to you both and hope, at the very least, you both end up as firm friends. [heart]
Un1k0rn, just take things slow. Movie and dinner is a great idea. The temptation to say and do too much at the beginning can be difficult to resist, but just be considerate, patient and.....wait....you said she is studying 3D modelling!?!
There is your key, right there.
If she is interested in the games industry, introduce her, gently now, gently to Elite. Buy her an account, create a private group just for yourselves and do stuff together in the game. Don't put any pressure on her, just let her do things at her own pace and stand ready to help her when she needs or asks for it. it's important you allow her to make mistakes here and there but not to the extent that the game becomes a frustration to her. It's a great ice breaker and you will find yourself answering loads of questions new players to the game always have. Also (and this is important) try to learn how FD creates the models in the game, get her to look at them and give her opinion.
Now, girls are not usually interested in such a game like Elite but (thankfully) there is much more to do in Elite that just pew pew as we all know and besides, we need more girls in Elite! Also if 3D modelling is interesting for her, Elite is full of em.
If successful, and she grows to like the game and finds it's models interesting, then the next part is to get her to consider applying to actually work for FD later on once she starts to build her portfolio; we need more ships! You never know, making an early application she can have a talk with them, maybe even do an internship if they do that sort of thing (I bet they do) and she can focus on the stuff they need. FD would love that someone wants to learn skills they actually need and that could lead to a job.
So, you build a solid friendship using Elite as an icebreaker, that could lead to other things (what those other things could be depends on a lot of other things so you just gotta play it by ear), and you help her out with a career too in the games industry in a damn good games company.
Finally, may I wish you the best of luck, best of luck to you both and hope, at the very least, you both end up as firm friends. [heart]
Believe it or not I had a similar story. Reconnected with someone I knew in school and instantly meshed, had a lot of the same mental quirks and such. Without going into too much detail, you know when you come across someone and even though they're a different person, you could swear they had the same mind? It's a rare thing.
In my story, indecision and lack of clarity around what we both wanted killed it. It was an awful shame.
So don't mess this up! (no pressure
) But yeah, as others have said, best thing to do is make sure you're meeting up where you can have a proper chat. You can try to get a feeling for the situation first but ultimately once you're comfortable chatting to each other then my advice is to make sure any romantic feelings are clearly acknowledged .... and hope for the best Deleted member 110222
D
Aye. You guys guessed right. I am young. Only 23. Another reason I posted here. I know a lot of you are older, which is exactly the person I was looking to talk to.
Approaching 51 here. Well, physically. Mentally it varies.