I'd rep you twice, if I could.
General / Off-Topic Okay, I'm going to be straight with you.
I'd rep you twice, if I could.
Deleted member 110222
D
I get what you guys are all saying.
But I know very well how fragile this girl is. In part because I saw the crap she went through, and the fact I myself went through that crap.
People such as myself and her rely on a status quo to maintain control over our lives. It's already crazy enough for me that I'm sat here every day for months on end wishing I could just be with her.
But I know what she went through, and let me tell you. It was bad. Like, if it weren't in school then the police would be called. (On my humble opinion those bullies should be facing prosecution as adults. Plenty on school records)
What I'm saying is, I'm playing with fire here. I know very well that if I just suddenly say to her that I like her, like a lot... That's going to disrupt her thoughts a lot right now.
Make no mistake. I am hoping to meet with her very soon. But I don't think now is a fair time to drop my feelings on her. She is in the most critical phase of her education career. The end of university. And I really, really, really want her to succeed. I want her to succeed, and I want her to get a good job, and I want her to drive into McDonald's and see an old bully in the drive-thru booth, whilst she's at the wheel of her brand new Audi.
I want her to make those so-&-so's feel terrible. And I think my feelings, right now, could be a blocking factor.
Now I will say this. I know it isn't what you guys might advise, but you have to understand that I have very particular circumstances. I was finally able to admit to someone how I'm currently feeling yesterday. A family member, who is friends with the girl's mum. I know this all sounds weird, and there's a reason for that.
It is weird.
But as I've said many times on this board before, society has been nothing short of evil against me.
It was ten times worse for the girl. That is why I'm being so damn cautious. Because I know she's fragile. And what mildly inconveniences most, destroys myself and her. We're very vulnerable people.
Main reason I'm so candid here is that I'm anonymous. You know Un1k0rn. But you don't know the gut who sits behind the keyboard. That's not a criticism. Not at all.
But myself and her. We're different. Very different. And very fragile.
But I know very well how fragile this girl is. In part because I saw the crap she went through, and the fact I myself went through that crap.
People such as myself and her rely on a status quo to maintain control over our lives. It's already crazy enough for me that I'm sat here every day for months on end wishing I could just be with her.
But I know what she went through, and let me tell you. It was bad. Like, if it weren't in school then the police would be called. (On my humble opinion those bullies should be facing prosecution as adults. Plenty on school records)
What I'm saying is, I'm playing with fire here. I know very well that if I just suddenly say to her that I like her, like a lot... That's going to disrupt her thoughts a lot right now.
Make no mistake. I am hoping to meet with her very soon. But I don't think now is a fair time to drop my feelings on her. She is in the most critical phase of her education career. The end of university. And I really, really, really want her to succeed. I want her to succeed, and I want her to get a good job, and I want her to drive into McDonald's and see an old bully in the drive-thru booth, whilst she's at the wheel of her brand new Audi.
I want her to make those so-&-so's feel terrible. And I think my feelings, right now, could be a blocking factor.
Now I will say this. I know it isn't what you guys might advise, but you have to understand that I have very particular circumstances. I was finally able to admit to someone how I'm currently feeling yesterday. A family member, who is friends with the girl's mum. I know this all sounds weird, and there's a reason for that.
It is weird.
But as I've said many times on this board before, society has been nothing short of evil against me.
It was ten times worse for the girl. That is why I'm being so damn cautious. Because I know she's fragile. And what mildly inconveniences most, destroys myself and her. We're very vulnerable people.
Main reason I'm so candid here is that I'm anonymous. You know Un1k0rn. But you don't know the gut who sits behind the keyboard. That's not a criticism. Not at all.
But myself and her. We're different. Very different. And very fragile.
I'm wondering have you considered that she is maybe sitting in her room and having the same conflicts in her mind; about you?
Just be there; be the friend that you are and let nature take its course.
Deleted member 110222
D
Entirely possible. I won't lie. I hope that's the case. Would make things an awful lot easier. Alas, I'm not a mind reader.
Actually I have the social skills of a baked potato.
Sounds to me like you've got a good handle on the situation and are doing what you need to be doing, staying in touch and being a good friend to her. I'd suggest you continue doing that on the casual basis where you are and maybe put your own hopes and fears to the back of your mind. Ultimately those are the only things you have full control over, so for the sake of an exercise, tell yourself that friends is all you'll ever be. If you'd be happy with that, then you are already a friend to her and that is the BEST foundation for a relationship there is. Carry on being mindful of her situation first as well as your own second, and see what happens.
Well said sir! o7!
Deleted member 110222
D
Aye, well, like I say. I'm hoping to go see her in Southampton soon. (University she goes to)
Deleted member 115407
D
I say hit it and quit it.
Yep, just ask her out with nothing more than "do you want to go out on a date to <insert idea you like for date>".
Don't start explaining your intentions or anything as when she inevitably responds in a way you haven't rehearsed in your head you'll be thrown. Keep it simple and straightforward.
Deleted member 115407
D
It's true, and it's funny that Bob managed to turn my silly little cad comment into actual useful guidance. The more chill and flexible you are, the less you'll be thrown off when the other person goes off-script.
Jenner
I wish I was English like my hero Tj.
Good advice. +1