Sounds like somebody trying to get in a controlling position.
General / Off-Topic Lol Social Issues
- Thread starter CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
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The ice creams? A pack of five, or brought randomly?
Who did she give the first one to?
You see for me; being the evil one. I would be saying silly things, like she looks good in blue and seeing what she wears tomorrow. But that is just my evil side, whispering in my ear.
Bob Lighthouse
Banned
Should it turn out that your gf is down for some "extra company" shall we say, with this other woman, don't forget that you may owe reciprocity...
I did say do lunch. I didn't say which way it could go.
Deleted member 110222
D
Not gonna' lie... I wish I were in your position.
I too am a loner, but that doesn't mean I like being alone all the time.
I'm serious about my last post here. I really wish I didn't chase that girl off. We were both crazy, as in psycho' crazy. Unfortunately, other circumstances at the time made me terrified of closeness.
I think that's why I hate bullies so much. I genuinely believe they cost me what could have been a great relationship. Now I have nothing.
verminstar
Banned
Heres a though...why dont you and yer girl hatch a plan between ye to test the water and knock it all on the head while gaining even more trust from yer squeeze...
Its better if yer gf knows cos the results can be highly amusing if things go south, and potentially disastrous if she doesnt know. It sorta involves her too ye see...come on strong to this other girl and suggest she join you and yer girl fer a quiet night in...maybe suggest ye like rubber and PVC just to add some spice.
And if shes up fer it...then...erm can I ask her fer her number?
It may well be simply nothing more than being pals at work but hey the silver lining is, it will motivate yer girl into trying to impress ye more when she thinks shes competing with another girl.
Although tbh it does sound as though shes trying to curry favour, and while she may be genuinely flirting and giving off those vibes, I think its more about gaining a level of control and that flirting isnt genuine. If ye make a song and dance over it, she could use that against ye and accuse ye of reading the signals all wrong and act all offended and drop ye in it.
Talk it over with yer missus...keep a record of things that ye think might be relevant if she tries to pull a fast one and blame it all on you. Maybe speak to yer human resources in confidence and explain yer concern and confusion about what to do next. Im assuming ye have an HR department here, whatever passes fer that where yer from. If nothing else, they will at least be aware of yer concerns if something nasty were to happen in the future.
Im not a great one fer authority, and I can be very blunt and direct with people, but I dont think yer like that...so let it play out but see what happens next and keep yer cool ^
Lol
10 years ago, I'd love this sort of attention.
But these days, I'm too old for all this drama.
Unikorn, You're welcome to have this spare woman I've somehow found. Lol
The real honest trick to getting women, is there is no trick to get women. Don't let anyone else tell you who you can be with, or can't be with. Unless that person is your girlfriend. Lol
You'll find one. Then probably another.
Apparently men in new relationships often give off a confidence vibe that attracts other women. Although I don't know what's happening here, my girlfriend and I have been together nearly 10 years. Lol
My girlfriend is well aware of this woman, and is stalking her on Facebook. Lol
Silver lining in all this, is my girlfriend has approved me buying a new phone, and is no longer trying to enforce an iPhone on me!
She hates me using this phone.
And she's suddenly started being much nicer to me.
Manipulation Level Increased
As for the ice-cream, the other woman brought a 4 pack, and put it down for people to take, I wasn't offered first choice. I didn't actually want one. But I can't turn down food. Lol
I'm playing it cool anyway. I'm not returning any flirty behaviour, and I treat her exactly the same as the other women I work with.
And like I said, I constantly talk about my girlfriend to her.
We'll see how it goes!
10 years ago, I'd love this sort of attention.
But these days, I'm too old for all this drama.
Unikorn, You're welcome to have this spare woman I've somehow found. Lol
The real honest trick to getting women, is there is no trick to get women. Don't let anyone else tell you who you can be with, or can't be with. Unless that person is your girlfriend. Lol
You'll find one. Then probably another.
Apparently men in new relationships often give off a confidence vibe that attracts other women. Although I don't know what's happening here, my girlfriend and I have been together nearly 10 years. Lol
My girlfriend is well aware of this woman, and is stalking her on Facebook. Lol
Silver lining in all this, is my girlfriend has approved me buying a new phone, and is no longer trying to enforce an iPhone on me!
She hates me using this phone.
And she's suddenly started being much nicer to me.
Manipulation Level Increased
As for the ice-cream, the other woman brought a 4 pack, and put it down for people to take, I wasn't offered first choice. I didn't actually want one. But I can't turn down food. Lol
I'm playing it cool anyway. I'm not returning any flirty behaviour, and I treat her exactly the same as the other women I work with.
And like I said, I constantly talk about my girlfriend to her.
We'll see how it goes!
Naturally, but it is customary on this Forum to always expect the worst.
And we love this forum for this reason
A rare treat indeed.
Quickly buy everything you really wanted but you were told not too.
"A woman won't date a guy who's living with his mum, but will happily sleep with a guy living with his wife" - Roman proverb
Deleted member 115407
D
Her move. You have a girlfriend, she knows this. You have no obligation to broach this subject for her. Until that subject is brought to the table, you treat her normally, as you would any good friend.
Act like a normal person and don't put yourself out there romantically. If she does broach the subject, you accept her interest graciously but remind her that you are otherwise taken. Your stance should be clear and forward, and your tone polite and positive.
The same way you would do so had it been any other friend who loaned you the phone. Express appreciation for the assistance, and inform them that you have upgraded and would like to return the item if she would like it back. You returning a borrowed item is not a declaration of rejection, it is just you returning a borrowed item.
That's really all there is to it - be polite, be friendly, be an adult. Also, the fact that you have a girlfriend doesn't preclude you having a female work bestie (they are often called "work spouses", and are quite common).
Lastly, normal people don't talk about their spouses and significant others all the time, they only do so in context. Stop dropping the g/f talk every time you see her. It is obvious and off-putting.
And lastly lastly, you "testing" things by not helping her load her truck was weird and awkward. Stop being weird and act like a normal, rational person who has a good friend.
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What vindelanos said.
And ask yourself, do you like her as a person, a friend? If so be her friend. If she brings up the topic be honest - whatever that means to you. Also, don't make this a major topic with your GF. This could stick. And the fact that your GF is stalking her on FB is not a good sign. Think about it that way: There is nothing wrong with plea pole being attracted to other people, intellectually or physically, whatever. I understand this is a big deal for you because you are a "socially awkward baffoon", but most likely it isn't. This is perfectly normal social interaction and best not make a big deal of it.
Anyway, hilarious thread.
And ask yourself, do you like her as a person, a friend? If so be her friend. If she brings up the topic be honest - whatever that means to you. Also, don't make this a major topic with your GF. This could stick. And the fact that your GF is stalking her on FB is not a good sign. Think about it that way: There is nothing wrong with plea pole being attracted to other people, intellectually or physically, whatever. I understand this is a big deal for you because you are a "socially awkward baffoon", but most likely it isn't. This is perfectly normal social interaction and best not make a big deal of it.
Anyway, hilarious thread.
This is good reading, and OP sure have a nice sense of humor .
You are doing the right thing when you tell your girlfriend about this awkward situation, and keep doing that 100% . I know from personal experience that sometimes just a little doubt can grow out of proportions very quickly and potentially ruin a good relationship. BUT - it’s also difficult to be your girlfriend right now, and you need to tell the other woman that you are not interested - and sooner rather than later. If you play your cards right this situation can potentially strengthen your relationship with your girlfriend.
.You are doing the right thing when you tell your girlfriend about this awkward situation, and keep doing that 100% . I know from personal experience that sometimes just a little doubt can grow out of proportions very quickly and potentially ruin a good relationship. BUT - it’s also difficult to be your girlfriend right now, and you need to tell the other woman that you are not interested - and sooner rather than later. If you play your cards right this situation can potentially strengthen your relationship with your girlfriend.
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+1 rep to the OP. Good read here. I also have a hard time of detecting women's attraction to me. I generally just ignore it and go my happy way. My wife seems to zero in on it, though. Real or imagined, ofc.
I'd just treat her like any other co-worker and keep things friendly. If things get uncomfortable, you can let her know, but don't assume anything.
Above all, keep us informed.
I'd just treat her like any other co-worker and keep things friendly. If things get uncomfortable, you can let her know, but don't assume anything.
Above all, keep us informed.
I'm completely oblivious to nearly all social stuff...
A long time ago, in my old store, a woman on checkouts was talking to me, and I was basically not listening, but this woman was apparently majorly flirting with me. Really flirting. Twirling hair, trying to look in to my eyes, touching my arm, asking personal questions, etc etc
Or so my girlfriend said, who was stood 20ft away at the time.
She was really angry at the woman for flirting with me, but couldn't stop laughing at my utter lack of reaction to these advances.
Apparently I spent most of the time backing away slowly.
And I had no idea my girlfriend was there either.
Now whenever she's paranoid, I tell her to remember that day.
Because that's how I am around everyone.
CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
I'm completely oblivious to nearly all social stuff...
A long time ago, in my old store, a woman on checkouts was talking to me, and I was basically not listening, but this woman was apparently majorly flirting with me. Really flirting. Twirling hair, trying to look in to my eyes, touching my arm, asking personal questions, etc etc
Or so my girlfriend said, who was stood 20ft away at the time.
She was really angry at the woman for flirting with me, but couldn't stop laughing at my utter lack of reaction to these advances.
Apparently I spent most of the time backing away slowly.
And I had no idea my girlfriend was there either.
Now whenever she's paranoid, I tell her to remember that day.
Because that's how I am around everyone.
CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
Ah, I know exactly what that's like!
Deleted member 115407
D
Remember the old rule: "Don't put your meat, where you get your bread and butter."
But there's nothing wrong with having a female friend, especially at work.
But there's nothing wrong with having a female friend, especially at work.
Deleted member 110222
D
I think I've identified one of my problems regarding basic social skill.
I have no leadership traits whatsoever.
The reason I think this is a problem is that it makes me reliant on others to start any interaction. Hell, I struggle to use the coffee machine at home without asking permission. Even if I buy the pods... [blah]
I suppose one could liken it to the social structure of chimpanzees, and to be blunt, I'm at the bottom.
Not sure how I get out of that one. XD
I have no leadership traits whatsoever.
The reason I think this is a problem is that it makes me reliant on others to start any interaction. Hell, I struggle to use the coffee machine at home without asking permission. Even if I buy the pods... [blah]
I suppose one could liken it to the social structure of chimpanzees, and to be blunt, I'm at the bottom.
Not sure how I get out of that one. XD
I'm mostly the same (or used to be).
Baby steps help. Just try issuing an order to someone, politely of course. Start simple, like "pass the butter/salt/whatever, please!".
Don't ask a question, don't say, "could you ever so kindly pass the [whatever], if that's ok with you, oh humble lord/lady?".
Literally, tell them, but in a polite way. Then move up from there.
At home, I've gone from "Can you move your legs so I can sit down, please?"
To "Legs! I'm sitting!" Lol
Confidence comes with practice.
I can almost boss my boss about now. Lol