General / Off-Topic I Just Outsmarted The Universe...

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
Back story;
I'm home alone tonight, my girlfriend is off doing training for work, down in London.

She's vegetarian, and allergic to garlic (oddest vampire ever), so we never order Chinese or Indian takeaway.

But I'm home alone tonight, so I ordered myself some nice noodles and a spicy chicken thing as soon as I finished work.

An hour and a half later and it'd not shown up yet. I'd gotten changed, put out the recycling, fed the cat, spoke to my girlfriend, abd broken and then fixed Nvidia Experience. Still no food.

So I came up with a cunning plan.

I launched ED, with no intention of actually playing it.
Then I shot the first pylon at the guardian site and set off the timer, and said out loud, "it'd be an awful shame if food arrived now, with this timer running...!"


Then...

*Knock Knock*

Me: 1
Universe: 0

Mmmmm. Food.

I have similar universe beating tricks for other situations.
In my old job, on click and collect, at Tesco, if I was bored and wanted a customer to show up so I had something to do, I'd simply try and eat something I can't put down. Like a donut. Worked every time.

Of courses I made the customers wait while I finished my donut.

What universe beating tricks do you do?


CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
 

EUS

EUS
I live near what I believe is the most complicated, terribly designed intersection in the whole world that is also a train crossing, and highway on-ramp.

On my particular side (the worst timed side), if a train comes, it resets the traffic lights so that my side gets skipped at least twice each time the guard rails lowers or rises.

Over the last 5 years, the probability of my being at that intersection, and a train also being there is at least 80%
It's not that there's a lot of trains, it's just that if I'm there, no matter the time of day, a train will pass.

I don't know what I've done to make the gods of that corner of the universe hate me. My wife believes I'm cursed.

I now go to an intersection that's completely in the opposite direction than where i wish to go, and in contrast, this on ramp has no lights, and is extremely pleasant (due to the street not having to pass over the tracks). As I pass the damned intersection, I perform the one finger salute.

But my blood pressure, and probability of stroking out has decreased.

Oh, BTW, if I'm with my wife in the car, there's never a train, but my kids witness it all the time.
 
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Rade Konn

Rade Konn
I don't order chinese since they give me anxiety the way they deliver and knock on my door. I have a door bell and they still knock on the door like they are cops not to mention they get hostile if you dont tip.

I'd give myself a point for that.
 

Chris Simon

Chris Simon
When I want to outsmart the universe, I don't even have to DO anything, I just need to think it. We have a bell on the front door (real bell which the door hit when they open).

If I had no customers for a long time and it's really boring, I just need to think "I'm going to have a snack", "I'm I need to go to the loo", "I'll call my brother", etc. And just as I'm finishing the thought - "Cling! Cling!"
Without fail.

It's really magical. :D

And generally, I found out that if you want the universe to do something, it's best to pretend that it makes you angry. That always works.
 

Demascus

Demascus
In my experience from cooking in restaurants. The days everyone is at work on time, food is prepered, everyone is in a good mood and we are ready to get hit hard....... It's a slow day. Days when the delivery truck is late, two or 3 people called off sick and nothing is preped..... Is when our butts get handed to us for 12 hours.
 

Manticore

Manticore
Demascus said:
In my experience from cooking in restaurants. The days everyone is at work on time, food is prepered, everyone is in a good mood and we are ready to get hit hard....... It's a slow day. Days when the delivery truck is late, two or 3 people called off sick and nothing is preped..... Is when our butts get handed to us for 12 hours.
Click to expand...

Thanks for reminding me why I don't work in hospitality..... sounds like a tough gig.
 

Strangepork

Strangepork
CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
Back story;
I'm home alone tonight, my girlfriend is off doing training for work, down in London.

She's vegetarian, and allergic to garlic (oddest vampire ever), so we never order Chinese or Indian takeaway.

But I'm home alone tonight, so I ordered myself some nice noodles and a spicy chicken thing as soon as I finished work.

An hour and a half later and it'd not shown up yet. I'd gotten changed, put out the recycling, fed the cat, spoke to my girlfriend, abd broken and then fixed Nvidia Experience. Still no food.

So I came up with a cunning plan.

I launched ED, with no intention of actually playing it.
Then I shot the first pylon at the guardian site and set off the timer, and said out loud, "it'd be an awful shame if food arrived now, with this timer running...!"


Then...

*Knock Knock*

Me: 1
Universe: 0

Mmmmm. Food.

I have similar universe beating tricks for other situations.
In my old job, on click and collect, at Tesco, if I was bored and wanted a customer to show up so I had something to do, I'd simply try and eat something I can't put down. Like a donut. Worked every time.

Of courses I made the customers wait while I finished my donut.

What universe beating tricks do you do?


CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
Click to expand...


Your girlfriend is not really working in London, she is also a secret meat eater having an affair in the big smoke, sorry to break this to you. ;)
 

Stigbob

Stigbob
Before I go hiking I double check both me and Mrs Stigbob have waterproof jackets and trousers, this invariably means really good weather.
 

Patrick_68000

Patrick_68000
Often, I can think of one person that I did not see for a long time and invariably a few days after, this person comes in front me.
 
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