Almost Advised a Boat Captain......

[Leadfoot]

I work part-time (I'm 67, semi-retired) as a bridge tender. Working the evening shift getting ready to open for two boats, one going north, one going south. The southbound boat asked me (as if I would know) "Who proceeds first". (Am I traffic control now???).

Well, I'm not licensed captain. Lucky for me the northbound guy said "Whoever has the tide behind them should proceed first, etc."

I'm glad he responded before I did. I almost grabbed the mike and said "Who ever has the strongest shields and the biggest guns goes first."

I still tell them (outbound to the ocean) to "Drive safe out there." My boss has a VHF Marine band radio at home and can hear me. He thinks I'm a little weird.

 

[Phisto Sobanii]

Be glad you didn't go with, "Loitering is a crime punishable by death."

 

[DragonIV]

We're all a little weird down here.

Great story!

 

[Leadfoot]

Be glad you didn't go with, "Loitering is a crime punishable by death."

We have a pirate boat that goes under the bridge several times during the day (shooting water cannons at the other boaters out there). When they go under me I'll turn on the fender speakers with "There be pirates under me bridge it seems, the scurvy scum, Arrrrrr!"

 

[Rubbernuke]

Did a boat get stuck on a sand bar, suddenly vanish and reappear out to see for another try?

 

[Phisto Sobanii]

We have a pirate boat that goes under the bridge several times during the day (shooting water cannons at the other boaters out there). When they go under me I'll turn on the fender speakers with "There be pirates under me bridge it seems, the scurvy scum, Arrrrrr!"

Haha! Or go with...

HALT, CRIMINAL SCUM.

 

[Nadreck]

If you keep a bazooka handy for clearing the mailslot, the moderators would like a word.

 

[CMDR Redcrest]

I work part-time (I'm 67, semi-retired) as a bridge tender. Working the evening shift getting ready to open for two boats, one going north, one going south. The southbound boat asked me (as if I would know) "Who proceeds first". (Am I traffic control now???).

Well, I'm not licensed captain. Lucky for me the northbound guy said "Whoever has the tide behind them should proceed first, etc."

I'm glad he responded before I did. I almost grabbed the mike and said "Who ever has the strongest shields and the biggest guns goes first."

I still tell them (outbound to the ocean) to "Drive safe out there." My boss has a VHF Marine band radio at home and can hear me. He thinks I'm a little weird.

Just tell them "loitering is a crime punishable by death"!

 

[Florenus]

"Access corridor is designated No Stop Zone. Blockages will be removed using lethal force"

 

[IndigoWyrd]

I work part-time (I'm 67, semi-retired) as a bridge tender. Working the evening shift getting ready to open for two boats, one going north, one going south. The southbound boat asked me (as if I would know) "Who proceeds first". (Am I traffic control now???).

Well, I'm not licensed captain. Lucky for me the northbound guy said "Whoever has the tide behind them should proceed first, etc."

I'm glad he responded before I did. I almost grabbed the mike and said "Who ever has the strongest shields and the biggest guns goes first."

I still tell them (outbound to the ocean) to "Drive safe out there." My boss has a VHF Marine band radio at home and can hear me. He thinks I'm a little weird.

Of course you are, all bridge trolls are, but we boat captains appreciate you, even when we don’t say so!