Agree that heavy ships (in fact all ships) are far too manoeuvrable for us fragile humans, but for a reason, it is a game. The game models g force (extreme blackouts and readout tolerances) crew and passengers internal organs would be reduced to liquid after most basic boost maneuvers. However, keep in mind that a very common statement on this forum is 'The T9 and Cutter handle like bricks' So we have a fairly large difference between a laden T9 and a GU97.
Also understand the devs stance on all of this, we are locked into a gameplay style that is focused on combat, so it needs to be more Star Wars than space engine.
What I struggle to wrap my head around is this talk of realism. We are talking about thousands of years of tech advancement (remember 200 years ago a turbofan would be considered magical technology beyond human comprehension) Roll/Pitch rates between large & small aircraft are handled by flight control laws these days, you can ask any pilot transitioning from from an A320 '70 tonnes', and a A340 '360/ tonnes' ask them what handling is like, they will say pretty much identical. Larger control surfaces on the A340 gives greater roll authority, in ED larger thrusters give greater roll authority..
If we want to talk about realism based on the current progress of mankind, we sit in automated ships with gradual acceleration and extremely limited roll/pitch/yaw authority, not much fun for most.
Obisdian Ant knows the answer to his question, you either buy VR and experience everything in correct scale, or stick with monitors and use your imagination to fill in the gaps, or play games like Freespace that exaggerate scales by extreme amounts to fool the brain.
We could flip the analogy on its head: Imagine taking a Phonecian round ship, launching it into the air at 1100 km/h and see what happens? It would just crash into the ground and leave a wooden wreck, so obviously an Airbus 380 is unrealistic since it can maintain flight.
The ships in Elite at least follows some basic Newtonian physics in how they behave as objects, how they behave as machines and structurally is obviously idealized and arcadey, but honestly none of us here knows what machines will look like in one millennia anyway.