You sound like some girl I knew once.
She was a lot of fun.
Fortunately I wasn't her (official) boyfriend when she was ... visiting me.
As an example:
I worked in a hospital pharmacy for 10 years. I watched patients and treated them, and sometimes watched as treatment failed and them sadly dying. I was glad I could walk out the door because I never wanted to go through some truly horrible deaths from painful diseases.
In my first year of moving to France I developed leukemia. I
knew what I had, and knew exactly how it was treated and what I would face to live- and even then it would be down to chance. So, for several weeks I knew the things that were coming
in the best case. I have a crippling fear of needles, and I knew the amount of them I'd face each and every day. Luckily (and obviously) I (so far) made it but it took its toll.
Two years ago my dad developed a problem with his bone marrow and after struggling for a year went downhill and died. I knew
exactly what his treatment would be, and I knew the mental anguish he'd go through- except this time he died, very slowly and very cruelly. This time it was me on the other side of the door, but I knew what was going through his mind and body from my time in hospital.
Now, its odds on that I'll die like he did- despite being in my early 40s I'm well past my middle age and will live on borrowed time in my early seventies. Twice now I lived through having or dealing with a life threatening illness.... I wish I could forget that, because I've most likely rehearsed my own death twice.
So for me, ignorance can be bliss.