[scoreboard is tentative and some runs are still undergoing validation]
Wow, there’s a lot of scoreboard to update today!
First off we have Ozric, Buckyball veteran returning to the stage at the last minute in the Fool of a Took. But who’s the fool here, the Took or the Turner? He polished supercruise perfectly, easing around the course well below 29 minutes and taking first on the Regulation Eagle board.
And now a word for our sponsors, Dynamic Shielding, a Core Dynamics Subsidiary, product endorsement does not indicate powerplay or governmental alignment by the Buckyball Organization.
read in a slightly manic Rick Flair style
Ozric: Man lemme tell ya. When you about to get to the mailslot on your way out of the station doing 350 m/s and an Adder suddenly moves into your way making you take evasive action where you end up slamming into the wall of the station, and you still come away with 11% shields. You know you've found a good supplier! Wooo!
And back to our racing.
We saw Stobi-Wan switch to a Regulation Eagle and post a completed run! This in spite of being sucked in by Tesla station into the infernal eternal loop of shame, where one orbits the station perfectly in supercruise four or five times. Almost beautiful in it’s curvature…
Public Service Announcement
Do not text and drive, distracted pilots are dead pilots!
Now lets take a close look at Stobi-Wans final approach and... OH, miffed the slot entirely, that’s what distracted driving does folks, best of luck and come back soon Stobi!
Excuse me we appear to be having a scoreboard malfunction… wait no, you’re saying a category has been ADDED to the race? This is… ahem… highly unusual, but I guess we’ll allow it. Early the final morning of the race, not one, not two, not three, but FOUR tonnage-addled Buckyballers decided to take the Type-9 out for a spin in an Eagle’s race.
Epaphus decided the Regulation Eagle was just too damn nimble and quick, and got into the As yet unnamed for, well I would say a spin, but let’s be honest the Type-9 doesn’t do much of that, around the stations. Max observed speed was 303 m/s, although due to using stationary cameras instead of video recordings it might have gone a bit faster, and the 40 minute mark was well and truly smashed by our first Heavy Metal contestant! He took the interesting strategy of
avoiding other ships in the Type-9, a bold move Cotton, we’ll see how that plays out for him!
https://c.tenor.com/Q3KPOTHw9LAAAAAC/bold-strategy-jason-bateman.gif
Apparently ATC heard “ muppet in a Type-9 was going racing around them so kept the mail slot clear to avoid having to do ship to ship collision paperwork.” Could be, could be, but I think the Type-9 goes
faster when it eats smaller ships.
The entire fiasco may have been started by CMDR Raiko, who’s love for his massive Baymax is well-known. Baymax clocked in at a zippy max 324 m/s, and snark was clearly maxed out with Raiko’s post race endorsement: “If that Sidewinder had fitted Dynamic Shields, maybe my Type-9 would have bounced off…” See, this is more evidence for my Type-9 ship carnivore theory. It needs the tasty smaller ships to fuel its powah! Raiko’s first submission was 35:04, but He managed to eek out a 33:09 in the ending few hours by utilizing the unorthodox strategy of bouncing off all the landing pad lamps at the very end and reducing hull down to 42%. Don’t knock it if it works!
Next off the line was Sgurr in the Barda, who I’ll let describe his strategy in his own words. “ I forgot that the T9 doesn't so much turn in supercruise as rotate the system around its mass. Out of six station approaches, I overshot the station on the first three due to an over-enthusiastic spiral approach combined with aforementioned glacial turning, and on approach four I opted to faceplant the rings rather than overshoot again. Thankfully five and six were less embarrassing and I finished in style, or as much as a T9 can have anyway!”
No worries Commander, there’s little as stylish as arriving in a thousand ton hunk of metal and twirling it around stations with the grace of a heavy metal ballerina at 295 m/s!
Finally for our oversize racers was Bob Dubrovnik in the aptly named “The Wonder Stuff,” with a 324m/s cruising speed. He utilized this to the fullest extent of the law and beyond, smashing into an Asp, and Hauler “and a few others” and racking up over 400 credits in assorted traffic fines. Upholding the reputation of the club there my good fellow! The approaches were a wonder to behold, aside from a loop of shame (self described as “a slow and imperceptible giant curve”) at the first station, Bob utilized the “Newton Strategy” of pointing The Wonder Stuff in the general direction of the station and letting momentum do the rest, occasionally bleeding some speed off with planets of some happened to be handy and if they were large enough to have any effect on a type-9. This sheer smoothness and calm placidity with which he crushed smaller ships in his wake led to an eye-popping time of 31:40, thus taking the Heavy Metal trophy. Enjoy your cast iron bowling ball Bob!
I hope that’s enough large ships to satisfy those who lust for collisions, because after this we’ll be back to more normal sizes. But that will be tomorrow when I have more time to write!