She already knew haha...hmm...I was right shes not just a street cop either, she some sorta researcher connected with forensics. She rarely leaves the lab, wears a white coat and goggles and thats literally all I heard. She was the one who came to me first and asked if we could have a serious talk later...and yep she already knew about me, but as it was more than 20 years ago...everyone has a past and Ive kept me nose more or less clean since.
Not all sunshine and roses though...she knew about my past but not my present gardening hobby. Her first words were...'So thats why theres no heat signitures'...technically speaking its one the most professional setups shes came across and told me that had I not had MS, she would have dropped me instantly because of what she saw. The fact I do have MS had her inspecting everything in what I would describe as a grudging admiration...she was very impressed with the technical aspect because of the lengths taken to keep it ultra discreet and completely hidden even to my own daughter.
We fine...very much so in fact but both of us really need to make some compromises. What happens between us stays between us even when it goes against what we believe. I sat till 5 this morning working out everything I can walk away from over the next 12 months and ye know what? I think if we still together in 12 months that itd be easier just selling the house and going somewhere where nobody knows us.
Biggest surprise being, that was my daughters idea and I find meself in total agreement...Ive never really sat back and thought about this and just assumed I didnt need to change...but I do. Some things need to be walked away from...and thats all Ill say about that.
Theres also the part where she could get into bother with her job if some stuff came out, so we have agreed to keep things low key until such a time where its not as much of an issue. But shes the one...I wanna grow old with her...disgracefully if possible...but thats another story fer another time
Found out some things about her too...she cant have kids, that being the reason her first marriage broke down and why she still has the body to die for. Theres a reason why she cant concieve, but Ill refrain from sharing that...some things are just best left unsaid.
Anyway...its all out in the open now, all the juicy stuff anyway and we survived it. She was terrified I wouldnt like her, could see it on her face when she told me because shes had bad reactions in the past and one the other things she likes is...stereotype all ye want but she likes a bit of rough as opposed to suave and sophisticated, so the guys she was going for were inevitably the bad boy element which is why she created a whole new persona of being someone she wasnt in an effort to be accepted. She could literally have any guy she wanted but she wanted guys who were the complete opposite of her to the point where her co workers call her the ice queen and they think she prefers women...thats so they stop hassling her to go out with them.
That bit made me giggle actually...I got a punch in the arm because she was being quite emotional telling me that...took a minute to assure her I wasnt laughing at her...badly timed giggle on my part but it does have a funny side to it. Funny because I can tell ye, shes not even close to ice queen status...shes...ye some things best left unsaid...very broadminded...ye thats enough of that.
We cool...and Im happy...happier than Ive felt in a long time. And it just happened when I wasnt looking fer it. So theres an update with a happy ending...but like I said, we gonna keep things low key fer a bit...we both have things to lose and we both have compromises to make fer each other if this is gonna work...but...I love her. I havent told her that yet but I think she already knows...and I think she does too but she is actually quite nervous so now is just not the right time. Cleaning up my life is a bit ambitious but I can certainly tidy up a few loose ends...and she is so worth it.
So happy crimbo guys...if yer even half as happy as I am right now then its a good xmas indeed...take care all ^
