An act of space insanity...

Achtung-Goomba

Achtung-Goomba
...and total, complete and gut-wrenchingly honest stupidity.

Billy Big-balls here, after finishing his glorious first foray into deep space pioneering, skipped the carrier ride home from the DSSA expedition to the Norma Expanse. Thought I’d ‘enjoy the ride home’ didn’t I, full of the confidence of all ill-considered ventures in humanity’s history. Let’s leave our mark on a forgotten corner of the galaxy and all that. At least for the first week. Then that horrible ‘real life’ got in the way (seriously, that can just do one sometimes) and a week long break followed, before I picked up the game again for around 180 jumps to my first waypoint at the DSSA King’s Pass about a third of the way home to the Bubble. It was an act of pure grit and determination by the end of it, with a couple of sketchy sleep-deprived brushes with stellar overheating scooping fuel to keep me on my toes. I found some wonderful sights but for the last fifty or sixty jumps to the carrier it was driven purely by desperation. Then came the relief as the carrier signal appeared on my scanner, and the weight of time and empty space lifted as the flight controller welcomed my arrival and the docking clamps engaged. A quick trip to the Universal Cartographics agent fluffed my credit account and finally pushed my Explorer rank up to Elite, a glorious day and time for a celebration in a lovely system to sightsee (trinary ELW, oh my!). Then I layed in a course to the next waypoint at the DSSA Ironside and... another 160 jumps. Which would be followed by ANOTHER 200 jumps maybe before I could finally get home. That’s when the madness and despair arrived with a vengeance...

Feeling what was left of my sanity fray at the edges (though I doubt there was much to begin with...) I managed about ten more jumps before my fatigued and despairing hand moved to the self-destruct button... it’s alright I told myself, I’m at peace with my decision, I’ve offloaded all my data and reached the milestone I’d set myself and the serenity of a man who’s done all he could washed over me as the control console started sparking, smoking and immolating; even the sirens announcing my imminent demise sounded strangely peaceful. It’s all a dream I told myself and soon, you’ll take that free Sidewinder and wake up back home in the Bubble, back in the heart of civilisation and be ready to crack on with the game proper again.

Relieved to be finally away from the insanity of deep space I felt the familiar comfort of the hustle and bustle of the spaceport and sauntered over to the shipyard, what’s a few million credits to transfer my modest flotilla back and give me a couple of days break to gather my thoughts. And that’s when I realised what I’d done... my DBX, the pride of my collection, partially engineered but more so than anything else I owned, was gone, just debris floating far from any travelled road half a galaxy away. My heart sank and in that instance my tired and weary brain knew it had made a terrible mistake. Truly an act of insanity inspired stupidity!

It’s not the cost, it’s the thought of re-engineering those modules again. Good gods of space travel, what was I thinking?! Wounded and deflated I handed over the credits to transfer my remaining ship and didn’t even make it back to my bunk, I just laid down on a nearby bench and held my head in my hands. The shame! The foolishness! All the satisfaction of the journey There is worth little without the journey Back Again. A cruel end for my brave Diamondback who’d taken me so far.

It’s a cold galaxy though, and if live with the consequences of my silliness I must then live with the consequences I shall. At least the two day transfer time for my other ships will give me some time to reflect on biting off more than I can chew and soothe my scarred ego. Nonetheless, I have contacted FDev support with a brutally honest plea for clemency, a one-time request that if they see fit in their omnipotence to grant and restore my ship; upon my honour I shall never again ask for a mulligan, but rest assured that whether they grant me mercy or leave me to my foolish mistake I will continue to play and enjoy this rich galaxy of wonder they have provided us with. I just wanted to share my cautionary tale of poorly considered bravado and proper planning, I just couldn’t face the black any more and opted out.


Has anyone else fell victim to such weakness of character? Let’s share, and rejoice that though the consequences of our mistakes may seem steep we shall live, we shall learn and we shall keep flying. Thank you for listening, o7 CMDRS!
 
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marx

marx
First off, thanks for sharing your story in detail! It always helps to hear others' perspectives, and perhaps it might help others not to make the same mistake that you did. I mean, it's always a good reminder to long-time explorers that 360 jumps might not be long for them, but for others, it can seem long enough that they'll rather press that big red button instead.

Second, and I mean this without any sarcasm, congratulations! You've passed a trial of sorts: you've made a costly mistake that was entirely your own fault, and didn't give up on going out there again. Today, getting Elite in exploration is basically completing the extended tutorial for exploration, but in my opinion, losing a lot and not giving up means much more than that.

Update: welp, I wrote this before you said that you're hanging up your explorer boots. Oops :D


Oh, and for the record, my first and only real temptation to press that big red button came a bit over 300 jumps into a 2,000 jump journey. In the end, I didn't self-destruct, and not long after, I was glad I didn't - and I would always remember this later on, whenever I was still tempted to do it again. However, back then, it was a markedly different time though, so it's not really good basis for comparison.
 
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PRORABBIT67

PRORABBIT67
I have still to make elite explorer yet, even though I got a carrier at launch it feels like it would be selling out not to endure some more of the madness you describe
so I will be gaining the rest of the rank the old fashioned way in my explorer phantom as I have always done.
Congrats to you on your explorer elite.
 

Achtung-Goomba

Achtung-Goomba
Thanks guys, it was just such a hilariously daft thing to do I had to share the laughs with you :ROFLMAO:

When I first jumped into the game maybe a couple of years ago I always thought I wanted to be an explorer, and after I first bought an AspX I set out for a random point on a totally aimlessly few thousand LY jaunt and eventually just burnt out and stopped playing. It's not a fault of the game, but I need a focus, some direction to hold my interest. I rediscovered my love affair with this glorious space-sim towards the back end of the UK-wide COVID lockdown and came back with more purpose and a will to get more community involved, hence joining these forums and registering with Inara and EDSM. That's about when Galnet, CGs and the general narrative seemed to be on hiatus so I missed the more organised events of the earlier days, and finding the DSSA expedition on here was the exact sort of player-driven emergent gameplay I was seeking. That part of the journey was something truly special and eye-opening; communicating with other players, structured exploration, logging our discoveries and some friendly competition (never imagined I'd be keeping spreadsheets of virtual sightseeing!). It was the bravado of lone-wolfing back home that caught me out, especially as it coincided with the return of Galnet and the new CGs. Being a more active member on the forums had got me connected with players in Colonia and the events out there, and encouraged me to develop my own roleplay and immerse me more in the galaxy we share, which made me feel like I had to rush back before I missed all the action.

That's what killed my buzz on the long way home, the aimlessness of it, especially after I hit Elite Explorer. It felt like I'd done what I set out to do and I was impatient to try new playstyles that the game has to offer. Again, it's not the game, I just bit off more than I could chew and I'm happy to admit I'm not man enough for the long haul exploration without a carrier group to focus me. Pleading with FDev support for my DBX back is literally a punt in the dark, and whether they say yes or no I'll love this game no less; the learning curve is steep in places, shallow in others but it seems there's always more to discover and new challenges and that's nothing but a good thing (y)

A couple of days break while I wait for my Keelback and AspX to arrive (I'd left them in the DSSA carrier hangar) will do me good, and then it's on to the next challenge and diving into the community events currently setting the Bubble ablaze. At least I know my own limits when it comes to exploration now, and I've got two more ranks to raise to join the true Elites of the Pilots' Federation (Trader is at Merchant, Combat at Novice so there's a way to go). I've never followed any of the road-to-riches guides, didn't even attempt mining until the expedition, and I've hardly fired a shot in anger for a long while so my playstyle is fairly casual and a bit of light-hearted RP. Hopefully when I'm ready I'll find some player groups and squadrons looking for an eager yet clearly naive pilot to join them.


To all those challenges remaining in this wide and wondrous galaxy I say... bring 'em on!
 

varonica

varonica
Never had the temptation, even when my 17ly Cobra Mk3 was down to 7% hull 7kly from the nearest station on my first return from Colonia I never felt the slightest temptation, of course if I had some dirty pirate trying to steal from me and blowing the ship up would destroy him as well I would do so without the slightest hesitation. If the game ever goes the way of allowing hostile CMDRS the ability to board and steal ships that big red button will be mashed so hard it will go through the panel!
 

UTU2TM

UTU2TM
It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what space madness means. Space madness has a face and you must make a friend of space madness. Space madness and moral terror are your friends.
-M.Brando
 

Sapyx

Sapyx
I've never suicidewindered, anywhere. For me, suicide is never the correct answer, unless all other alternatives have been exhausted.

I've not had the problem that some people have with long-range exploration or travelling, though. My 50 LY AspX has 250 jumps back to civilization, I decided to tack on an extra hundred jumps or so to detour to see something interesting.

What's your star-filtering like? I can perhaps understand if you're flying unfilterd and seeing star after star filled with boring iceballs. I've just finished surveying the last 200 out of 1000 scans of M-class red dwarfs for my survey project, and man are those things boring. Not a single ELW and very little else of value or interest. Switch the filter to F and A stars only and you should find a significant minority of stars containing interesting and valuable things, and very few boring iceballs.
 

Achtung-Goomba

Achtung-Goomba
Sapyx said:
I've never suicidewindered, anywhere. For me, suicide is never the correct answer, unless all other alternatives have been exhausted.

I've not had the problem that some people have with long-range exploration or travelling, though. My 50 LY AspX has 250 jumps back to civilization, I decided to tack on an extra hundred jumps or so to detour to see something interesting.

What's your star-filtering like? I can perhaps understand if you're flying unfilterd and seeing star after star filled with boring iceballs. I've just finished surveying the last 200 out of 1000 scans of M-class red dwarfs for my survey project, and man are those things boring. Not a single ELW and very little else of value or interest. Switch the filter to F and A stars only and you should find a significant minority of stars containing interesting and valuable things, and very few boring iceballs.
Click to expand...

It wasn't brought on for a lack of things to see*, it was simply because I felt like I had no more reason to be out there. Did I fancy spending another few weeks of an hour or two an evening, jumping and scanning empty space until I got back to civilisation? No, because I would have done what I did the last time I tried solo deep space exploring and dropped the game for something else, and I didn't want to do that; some days my game time is hard to fit in around 'real life' and I need all the escapism I can get. I'm obviously, at this moment in time, not dedicated enough to be a real pioneer and that's cool, I was impatient to get back to the Bubble and try something new. Before the space-madness I was just shy of 300m space-bucks which is paltry but more than I'll ever need to fit out my next build and pay for any rebuys on it a hundred times over, before I've even considered earning any more. I've tagged a not-insignificant pocket of space in the Norma Expanse (the Goomba was 'ere!) and on the route to the DSSA King's Pass including my first two ELW discovered. I just felt like I'd done all that I'd left to do, and clearly didn't have it in me to persevere so I took the madman's way out. There's a lot more happening in the Bubble now than when I left.


*I filtered out M-class and smaller until I was about 1.5/2kly out from the DSSA Glomar Explorer, found some pretty cool systems, but as impatience started to set in I found that dropping the filter cut the first leg of the journey by 25 jumps or so. It says a lot about my mindset out there that I took that minor shortcut!
 

Achtung-Goomba

Achtung-Goomba
GOD BLESS ALL THE SAINTS OF SPACE TRAVEL!

My petition has been answered with a one-time-only offer of mercy, for which I cannot possibly express in words my gratitude. As a return gesture the first thing I'll do when I'm online later is purchase some ARX, some paint jobs, a ship kit, maybe some decals, perhaps my holo-me needs a new jacket...

So, when's the departure for the next expedition? :p
 

alexzk

A
Achtung-Goomba said:
GOD BLESS ALL THE SAINTS OF SPACE TRAVEL!

My petition has been answered with a one-time-only offer of mercy, for which I cannot possibly express in words my gratitude. As a return gesture the first thing I'll do when I'm online later is purchase some ARX, some paint jobs, a ship kit, maybe some decals, perhaps my holo-me needs a new jacket...

So, when's the departure for the next expedition? :p
Click to expand...
Good to know :)

As cure of madness, there are couple tricks:
1. land planet srv.
2. have small mining laser on board - drop into any ring and pew-pew for mats.
3. and ultimate -> have a reason. For example, I research for Raxxla everywhere. That keeps me sane. Checking rare star types, doing NS-boosted rushes to elsewhere to urgent check a star, etc.

P.S. for my Anaconda 200 jumps is about 50000ly :) So try to use NS road to relax madness too.
 
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LifesAJourney

LifesAJourney
Going back home is definitely the most difficult stage of an exploration trip. I had no problems doing thousands of jumps from the Bubble, through western parts of the Galaxy to Semotus Beacon, but an almost-straight-line trip back to the Bubble quickly turned into a nightmare. Moreover, every time I go back, I make more mistakes during the last 1-2 kylies than I did during the whole trip.

Having said that, I commited suicide only once. I didn't jump toghether with FC (although I had landed over 5 minutes before its departure) and was left stranded in 5-Ly racing iEagle while the nearest system (let alone the FC) was 45 Ly away. :D
 

UTU2TM

UTU2TM
alexzk said:
Good to know :)

As cure of madness, there are couple tricks:
1. land planet srv.
2. have small mining laser on board - drop into any ring and pew-pew for mats.
3. and ultimate -> have a reason. For example, I research for Raxxla everywhere. That keeps me sane. Checking rare star types, doing NS-boosted rushes to elsewhere to urgent check a star, etc.
Click to expand...

I choose landing from time to time. Zip around in the SRV, but most times I'll just park and wait till I'm ready to go back to jumping.
 

alexzk

A
Yeh, my personal madness comes from using carrier :D Always want to explode that slow thing.
For Anaconda 200 jumps is about 50000ly. I never plot more then 20 jumps, if it happens, I start to search NS on map. Sometimes it takes long.
 

Achtung-Goomba

Achtung-Goomba
Anyway, now that I've got my Elite Explorer it's time to hang up my explorer hat for the time being and strap on my big boy boots, I hear there could be another war brewing in the Bubble and I'm not in a position to miss this one... time to find out if I'm as bad at combat as I think I am!
 

jpjeffrey

jpjeffrey
alexzk said:
Good to know :)

As cure of madness, there are couple tricks:
1. land planet srv.
2. have small mining laser on board - drop into any ring and pew-pew for mats.
3. and ultimate -> have a reason. For example, I research for Raxxla everywhere. That keeps me sane. Checking rare star types, doing NS-boosted rushes to elsewhere to urgent check a star, etc.

P.S. for my Anaconda 200 jumps is about 50000ly :) So try to use NS road to relax madness too.
Click to expand...

Another thing you can do to ward off the 'madness' is to see if you can complete all the Codex entries for whichever part of the Galaxy you're in - this might give you 'purpose' :)
 
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