I spoke to the Sandro at the bar at Lavecon, and ChrisH you are basically right. It all boils down to how the game issues ownership of the objects, the commander is in essence his/her ship and when moving to the SRV the ship is still owned by you but is an asset that doesn't have to be at the same location (hence not dying when your ship is blown up on surface while still out in your SRV). It is a coding corner, though was described as, not at all insurmountable but would require some non-trivial changes under the hood.
In multi-crew, you can have two fighters out, piloted by the human crew. These have a maximum range which I believe is defined by the island volume. Correct me if i am wrong but basically if a fighter pilot trys to leave the island, it is deemed as out of range and the fighter is destroyed in order to keep the player from creating a new instance (since remember, it is a requirement that all crew are in the same instance)... remember as helm of a multi-crew ship, YOU HAVE TO REMAIN HELM
Multi-crew fighters - The rules
1) Helm remains helm at all times
1a) To upgrade this, we have to be able to go AI crew member for helm control
2) Fighters do not carry cargo, and do not have cargo scoops - no cargo objects ownership issues
3) Finite range in order to remain on same network instance and not create network shenanigans
4) Pew pew pew!
5) Can call to dock and have the bay opened.
Now the same would be true for SRVs on surface, except, they have to deal with slightly different circumstances.
1) An SRV has a range of what ever fuel it has, do we want to only be able to explore say... 20km of surface around a ship? No we want a multi-crew SRV to be equal to a normal one.
2) An SRV has cargo, and can pick up materials... whos materials are they? whos cargo is it?... We want the functionality to be identical, so ownership of goods has to be the helm... but wait... all network markers etc would say its the crew members?
3) Synthesis... see point 1 and 2
4) An SRV under multi-crew MUST be able to drive away from the host ship, and be able to come back to it, IE, helm and crew must always be in the same instance or guarantee to get back in the same instance
5) All members of the crew WANT to be able to drive an SRV
6a) If all members of the crew can drive an SRV and one of them is destroyed... the crew member would now be alone in orbit if the ship is dismissed?
6b) If all members of the crew are out in SRVs and one quits, does the SRV explode?
6c) If all members of the crew are out in SRVs and one wants return to the ship, can they? and once the SRV is returned, what can they/do they do?
7) Points 6) go away if helm always remains on board, breaking point 5) unless other rules are in place.
overall it is just more complicated in terms of cause affect and outcome, and as was said to me, "We know what the issues are, because we are silent, doesn't mean things are not being worked on, but more often than not, some of the more fundamental changes have to take longer to ensure we do not accidentally break other things in the process." So yeah, honestly, i read that as, it is what it is for now, they would like to change it, but if it was to be changed, it would be part of a big QOL fix so, not super soon.