Landings hard (for non space flight sim fans and only at first) because you need to put your ship at a certain place in a certain orientation within a time limit. When flying in space what with it being so empty you don't notice your ships all over the place as long as the front is just about facing the right way. You need a point of reference, like another ship you are fighting or asteroids. Once you get a feel for it it's really easy but when you start out just getting through the letterbox was harder for us all especially people who don't own a joystick haven't played every space flight sim ever made and just reconfigured their controls.
I don't own a joystick any longer, (thinking of getting some HOTAS for E

) but this is my first space game I've ever owned being much too young to have owned the original Elite when it was new. I did start this game with mouse and keyboard and I still fly with it.
While I do have a lot of experience from regular flight sims the only thing that really carried over here was being methodical and calm so that I don't slam on the throttle for minor adjustments for example. What with having thrusters mounted all over the ship and autostabilization there is not much similarity with an aircraft in the handling, no risk of stalling out because your airspeed was too low or breaking off your gear because you put the craft down too hard.
I got a little thrown off when the slot started to rotate relative to my Sidewinder when I started out and I likely did bump into it. The first landing I did was adequate - hardly stellar, if you pardon the expression, but I didn't lose any hull as far as I can remember at least. I just simply flew in at a moderate speed, rolled to get the belly in the right direction and did a shallow dive towards the pad and put the ship down without too much of a hassle. I did overextend a little in a few directions but hardly enough to give me the impression that docking was very difficult.
As far as a point of reference goes, I understand what you mean but surely that's just an issue of opening the throttle too much or perhaps accidentally hitting the boost at the wrong time? You drop out rather far away from the station and while maneuvering towards it you should get at least some feeling for how the ship reacts. There's no reason you would fly at high speed towards a pretty small target if you weren't confident in your ability, right?
When I first started driving I took it easy because I knew I had little experience and would likely not be able to recover if something would happen and thus I tried to minimize the risk of something happening in the first place, I took more or less the same approach in here.
The other stuff you mention is difficult to master and difficult to do well, but the docking process is the first great challenge you have to overcome to do anything else in the game. It means finding the slot, lining up with the slot and avoiding collisions, getting yourself oriented at the correct landing bay, working out what the landing radar is telling you .... and all the time you have a timer ticking down in front of you. On top of that, you are not yet master of your controls - they may not even be set optimally at first - yet you have to do this one thing to survive. It's the ratio of difficulty with experience - experience is on the bottom of the equation and when that is close to zero the ratio (the learning curve) is very steep indeed !
I see your point and I did have problems with finding the opening several times before I noticed the arrows on the hologram and tried following them instead of guessing. And while it could be hard to see where the correct pad was at times I think the landing radar is quite intuitive actually. I didn't care much about the timer as in my mind 10 minutes would be plenty to try a few times.
Regarding the controls, it probably helped that I did pay close attention to what the pre-flight checks wanted me to do in addition to being in the habit of checking out what the controls do in the settings before setting off.
Upon reading my previous post again I realise I came across as rather hostile. That was not my intention and I hope you didn't take any offense by it.