Darth Vader vs Elite Dangerous Fleet Carriers

Darth Vader: What is it, Fighter Pilot Jess?

Fighter Pilot Jess: My Lord, our fleet carrier has moved out of witch space and an instance has been established confirming to established USS protocols. Our sensors has detected a fleet of pirate Cutters on an intercept course. The shields of those Cutters are strong enough to deflect any initial bombardment. Estimated time to Kill is beyond 12 minutes per Cutter.

Darth Vader: [Angrily] The Pirate Scum are alerted to our presence. Our Carrier Pilot came out of witch-space too close to the Pirates.

Fighter Pilot Jess: He felt surprise was wiser-

Darth Vader: Jess, our carrier pilot is as clumsy as he is stupid. He went to Hutton Orbital for free Anacondas for Christ sake! Prepare your fighter for attack runs.

Fighter Pilot Jess: Yes, my Lord [bows and leaves quickly].

[Vader turns to a nearby screen and calls up the carrier pilot and Fighter Pilot Dave.]

Carrier Pilot: My Lord, the carrier group has moved out of witch-space and we're preparing to deploy forces to defeat the Pirate Scum. However, we are running low on CarrierJumpThingys and I recommend dispatching scouts to search nearby ring systems for [starts choking].

Vader: You have jumped this carrier for the last time, Carrier Pilot. Fighter Pilot Dave?

Fighter Pilot Dave: Uh, yeah?

Darth Vader: Order the support ship to reposition so that no pirates escape this instance once they enter it. When the pirate scum has been eliminated, report to the carrier bridge.

Fighter Pilot Dave: The bridge?

Darth Vader: You are in command of carrier jumps and navigation now, Carrier Pilot Dave.

Carrier Pilot Dave: [sees the dead body of the former Carrier Pilot collapse] Thank you, Lord Vader. I think.

:cool:
 
Fader Darth before release: the estimated price of a Fleet Carrier is 1.5 billion.

Forum: grinds roughly 2 billion each

Fader Darth after release: the price of a Fleet Carrier is 15 billion.

Forum: noooooo how can you do it FD?

Fader Darth: I'm altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further ... heavy breathing intensifies
 
Fader Darth before release: the estimated price of a Fleet Carrier is 1.5 billion.

Forum: grinds roughly 2 billion each

Fader Darth after release: the price of a Fleet Carrier is 15 billion.

Forum: noooooo how can you do it FD?

Fader Darth: I'm altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further ... heavy breathing intensifies
You made me do it! :D

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpE_xMRiCLE
 
Wait till you find out that Vader is a Changeling and those Cutters are full of Jem'Hadar. ;)

giphy.gif
 
Back
Top Bottom