hmm with those sizes i could see a small fitting in one of the larges, so size wise at least its plausible however it can be abused, but at current so can most anything else, its part of the game.
i could suggest that self destruct with the advent of void opal mining have an incrementing increase for the self destruct afflictor and an equal decrease for the victim, right up to the value of the ship at which point poof ships gone the afflictor is all but broke and the while having costed the victim a good amount of money will not have cost them as much.
and if their victimized by someone who tricked them then there is nothing that can be done about that
save for maybe an extended bounty on the afflictor or maybe not being able to rebuy their ship if they self destruct and kill someone in their wing, but if their left cold and alone out there i can't think of any way to mitigate that save for a call for rescue button that calls out a ship and tows you back at a cost of say 100 credits per lightyear (low yes but its a poor noob friendly price point)
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