dayrth
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Elite Dangerous Cracker Jokes needed for the 24 hour livestream! 2016 edition
- Thread starter Edward Lewis
- Start date
Why did James Bond return to base, even though it was Christmas Day?
To see Q see?
Who's the most Christmassy ED fan to have around your place of a Christmas Eve?
A white knight.
What did the ED fan ask his fiancee, when there was NO new HOTAS under the Christmas tree??
Can I have that diamond back?
To see Q see?
Who's the most Christmassy ED fan to have around your place of a Christmas Eve?
A white knight.
What did the ED fan ask his fiancee, when there was NO new HOTAS under the Christmas tree??
Can I have that diamond back?
I think it may be worth adding "Christmas" in front of cracker. Some of our American friends may think it means something else
yeah that's the first thing I thought of. I was like, hell naw, I ain't getting banned for that.
Best advice for a married CMDR sneaking into bed after a late business dinner?
Engage silent running.
Best advice for a married CMDR sneaking into bed after a late business dinner and smelling of perfume?
She completely undresses.
Engage silent running.
Best advice for a married CMDR sneaking into bed after a late business dinner and smelling of perfume?
She completely undresses.
How you get the wife downstairs for Xmas?
Hauler
And what do you do when the girl next door drops by while you're in bed with your wife?
Adder.
Why haven't Take That had a Christmas Number One .. for ages?
They were never the same after they let Robigo.
They were never the same after they let Robigo.
What did Zachary say to Zemina?
Urgh, I feel unclean.
- - - Updated - - -
Your Python's not... wait, I'm not going there and I'm not getting caught up in this.
Nothing, he was .. Toolfa away.
Urgh, I feel unclean.
- - - Updated - - -
Your Python's not... wait, I'm not going there and I'm not getting caught up in this.
What does an Elite Dangerous explorer do, after far too many sprouts for Christmas dinner?
Jump - honk - jump - honk (insert sound effect)
What do explorers in Elite Dangerous recommend .. are not just for Christmas.
Puppis
Why explore in Elite Dangerous this Christmas?
To go where snowman has been before?
Jump - honk - jump - honk (insert sound effect)
What do explorers in Elite Dangerous recommend .. are not just for Christmas.
Puppis
Why explore in Elite Dangerous this Christmas?
To go where snowman has been before?
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Why could Granny not buy any Xmas presents?
Because Anaconda out of all her money
Man, Ana is so dodgy.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Buckyball
Buckyball wh...
oh - he's gone
Who's there?
Buckyball
Buckyball wh...
oh - he's gone
Honestly this was the only good one lol.
...
What did Jesus get for his birthday?
A Fer De Lance.
Given that Ed's looking for Christmas Cracker jokes .. any good ones should probably be excluded by default!
Why was it soooo cold last Christmas?
No fire zone.
are sick jokes acceptable ... ?
Why are ED complaint threads .. so very very Christmassy?
Because they're full of special snowflakes.
Because they're full of special snowflakes.
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Given that Ed's looking for Christmas Cracker jokes .. any good ones should probably be excluded by default!
Why was it soooo cold last Christmas?
No fire zone.
are sick jokes acceptable ... ?
Why are ED complaint threads .. so very very Christmassy?
Because they're full of special snowflakes.
Oh, really.
What did Princess Diana and Powerplay have in common?
They were both dead on arrival.
Touchè. Although the powerplay map allows other factional areas, galactic subdivision, and is way cool.
How many Star Citizen fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Buy a Polaris, and I'll tell you. Maybe.
Buy a Polaris, and I'll tell you. Maybe.
How does an Elite, Dangerous Player survive in an Intense Combat Zone?
Sleigh! Sleigh! Sleigh!
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Eeesh ... just had a Jimmy Carr moment there where you laugh and then feel REALLY ashamed.
Actual Jimmy Carr joke:
What do princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last greatest hit was the wall.
