General / Off-Topic Epic trip to the UK

[Yaffle]

You only eat a kebab with onion and chilli sauce NEVER GARLIC

Brown sauce is a must on a full English breakfast NEVER EVER RED SAUCE that’s for kids

Do not go to a fish and chip shop in the south of England they haven’t got a clue (seriously no gravy or chippy mushy peas get a grip u heathens).

Isn't there a story (probably apocryphal) of Peter Mandleson going into a chippy in Hartlepool when he first was parachuted in as an MP, looking at the mushy peas and asking for some of the guacamole dip?

 

[Fenris Wolf]

Jenner, as you’re probably gathering, there’s a big North/South divide in England.

For reference, anywhere South of a place called Scotch Corner is considered Southern.

And then there's us Northerners who get stuck darn'sarf due to marrying a Sountherner... life's difficult

 

[CMDR Cosmic Spacehead]

Welcome the Sunny England.

Rule #1
There's no English equivalent of "right on red".

Rule #2
People will still try to do the English equivalent of "right on red". Don't follow them.

Rule #3
Don't tip. It's usually built in to your bill already. Unless of course the service is excellent. Which it rarely is in England.

Rule #4
Roundabouts. Give way to your RIGHT. And if in doubt, go around again.

Rule #5
BMW's and Audi's aren't fitted with indicators or speedometers, so just let them do whatever. Apparently this is a global issue.

Rule #6
Don't trust the weather forecast. Load your car up, or carry everything for every type of weather. The one thing you don't bring, will summon that type weather.

Rule #7
Under no circumstances, visit Telford.

Rule #8
There are lots of road signs. Don't worry, not many people know what they mean. Just guess!

And that's about it, for now.

Have fun!

 

[Robert Maynard]

Jenner, as you’re probably gathering, there’s a big North/South divide in England.

For reference, anywhere South of a place called Scotch Corner is considered Southern.

For some, that line's drawn at Perth....

 

[starman]

US/UK Differences explained

[video=youtube;atjI3Fmjb8Q]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atjI3Fmjb8Q[/video]

 

[EISENHORN01]

As you can see ‘Mickey taking’ Is a National past time over here in the U.K. It starts with your closest friends and family and spreads onwards from there. Unfortunately the forum rules don’t allow you to see the full breadth of our ability for ‘taking the phish’ out of each other but done correctly it is an absolute art.

All that’s been said put aside I truly hope you have an absolute blinder over in the U.K and the memories you take back to the colonies stay with your for life, where ever you visit (even London) it’s fantastic and after all coming back home is always special.

 

[DD_Crash]

If you like war planes and tanks visit the Imperial War Museum at Duxford. I VERY good day out not far from Cambridge.

 

[EISENHORN01]

If you like war planes and tanks visit the Imperial War Museum at Duxford. I VERY good day out not far from Cambridge.

Royal Armouries museum in Leeds is a fantastic day out (it was free on entry 5yrs ago) and the Royal Tank museum at bovington is Mecca for armoured vehicle fanatics

 

[Para Handy]

For some, that line's drawn at Perth....

For many, the "North" is an unexplored wilderness beyond the frontier post of the Watford Gap.

 

[SMcA]

That really is on my itinerary I'm afraid. Lol.
Wish me luck!

Brave man and best of British.

For some, that line's drawn at Perth....

Beware the Teuchters.

 

[SMcA]

For many, the "North" is an unexplored wilderness beyond the frontier post of the Watford Gap.

But they all have at least one relitive who was Scots and they have always wanted to visit but never did. :O

 

[Porina]

If you don't go to Stonehenge, at least go to Avebury to see a white horse.

I don't know the current status but Avebury stones has been off-access recently due to prolonged wet weather making the ground muddy. I think you can still see them from a distance but not get up close if that is the case. If this is a consideration do check.

Do not go to a fish and chip shop in the south of England they haven’t got a clue (seriously no gravy or chippy mushy peas get a grip u heathens)

It varies a lot depending on the chippy, but gravy and mushy peas are available in the south. You might argue if they're any good though.

Don't tip. It's usually built in to your bill already. Unless of course the service is excellent. Which it rarely is in England.

Judge on a case by case basis, but I wouldn't normally tip anywhere you pay up front. I tend to tip at proper restaurants according to the service.

 

[Ephraim Stone]

To clarify on tipping, you wouldn't normally tip when drinking at a bar.

If you're having dinner at a restaurant, a few quid is fine.

However (as an ex-pat), please don't infect the homeland with this 20% tipping rubbish that we have in the states! It's a little "thank you", not a tax!

 

[The Chairmaker]

tipping in british pubs is more of an optional "keep the change thing" so if your pint comes to £4.70 and you have a £5 note, you say keep the change and the bar man or woman will put the 30p in a jar. If you have the correct change just give them that.

Keep the change should only be used if you are given good service and a good pint. If the bar man or woman spends 10 minutes chatting to a mate before serving you, just give him a dirty look and use the time waiting to count out the cost of the drink in as many small denomination coins as possible, then tell him or her its the correct change because you have counted it. The bar person now is either left with the option of trusting that you supplied them with the right change, or counting it out, which is calling the customer a liar.
This is the polite British way of making the person doing the serving aware that you are annoyed at something they did. It also allows you to potentially get away with deliberately underpaying for your drinks if you deem service to be poor.

On a different note, know where and where not to ask for a BARM CAKE.
I'm nervous just mentioning those two words, as they are the internet message board equivalent in the UK of a declaration of all out flame war.

 

[SMcA]

On a different note, know where and where not to ask for a BARM CAKE.
I'm nervous just mentioning those two words, as they are the internet message board equivalent in the UK of a declaration of all out flame war.

Or in a pub turn an empty pint glass (20 fl oz, a real pint) upside down.
Unless you want a fight.

 

[Para Handy]

..........
On a different note, know where and where not to ask for a BARM CAKE.
.............

Sara Cox with Pie Barms on "Back in Time for Tea" the other week - can you imagine walking down the street in Lewisham with a Pie Barm.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/09/pie-barm-twitter-wigan-kebab

 

[starman]

Will you be making a 'pilgrimage' to Cambridge to see where it all began?

 

[Patrick_68000]

Will you be making a 'pilgrimage' to Cambridge to see where it all began?

I already suggested it previously

I hope that Jenner will hear our voices and bring us pictures of Frontier's new offices and also concept art and some secrets on Q2, Q3 and Q4 p)

 

[Vasco Sapien]

1. If you visit Scotland make sure to buy some Wild Haggis repellent. People Scoff, but when last i visited Australia i was warned about Drop Bears and i didnt listen... i paid dearly.

2. Never jump Queue. Queuing is a British pass time and even though we are typically reserved we are known to become quite violent when we see someone jump Queue.

3. If you see unconscious people on a park bench dressed in a t-shirt that says 'I love Mother Russia' dont go near them it could be hazardous to your health.

4. If a British person says... 'Are you alright, Mate' dont worry this is just how British people say hello and it isnt a question. However if you feel light headed and dazed and someone asks ' Are you alright?' it might be because you are losing blood somewhere.

5. Dont make eye contact with British people, we dont like it.

6. If someone asks you for a f.ag, they are asking for a spare cigarette, Unless the person asking is dressed in blue jeans and a white t-shirt and you happen to be visiting Brighton.

7. If a scottish person says to you.... STITCHDESJIMME!.... duck quickly.

8. In east London you may need to download Google translate and add the Cockney Geezer language file.

9. If someone suddenly says.... 'More tea Vicar' it simply means that person has just passed wind and is politely covering it up.

10. Dont expect it to be Sunny in the UK. people have been known to go quite mad waiting for dry, sunny weather in the UK. Rip that band aid off right now and save your sanity.

11. The English believe they are superior to all foreigners, especially Americans. They are typically embarrassed by this and therefore act in an inferior manner.

12. We now have super fast broadband thanks to the modern age, You can expect lightening internet speeds of 128 kbit/s on averge between the hours or 12 am to 6pm.

13. when ever entering someones home, always remember to bow to the hanging picture of the queen typically situated to the left as you enter the hall way. When you bow say.... 'Mam'.

14. If you visit a Pub and you are a man, Only order Beer or Lager anything else and people might start to talk..

 

[The Chairmaker]

Sara Cox with Pie Barms on "Back in Time for Tea" the other week - can you imagine walking down the street in Lewisham with a Pie Barm.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/09/pie-barm-twitter-wigan-kebab

https://pics.onsizzle.com/Facebook-Why-the-heck-not-Just-do-0d3320.png

That is typical Wigan propaganda, fake news, or whatever you want to call it.

Any self respecting lobby gobbler, earlestowner, yicker, sintellinser, wire will point out that the pie eaters of Wigan are called such due not to their love of pies, but infact due to their lack of fortitude during the General Strike of 1926. They were denounced for surrendering and eating humble pie, whereas other workers in the north stood fast for their rights to a decent living wage.