Even the most well trained soldiers and fighter pilots still commit friendly fire. It the heat of battle it happens. These are men and women who have had years training and it still happens in real life, when someone is not going to get to respawn. In the conflict zones in Lugh when you have multiple wings in the same instance it happens to even the best pilots.
It is not just the player shooting that causes FF, sometimes its the other pilot who flies in a way you would not expect from off screen. I think a bit of adjustment to the FF threshold is perfectly reasonable request.
Have you done your military time?
Friendly Fire is not acceptable and any soldier who does it is bound to be persecuted for his actions (and really, no one wants someone on his platoon/squad/etc. that can shoot their own team down).
If you can't take the heat of a conflict zone, stay away from it until you're better, there's plenty of other places to make money now.