Good day, fellow irrelevant specks of stardust adrift in the magnitude of the infinite cosmos. It's time to reflect on the GalNet news stories of the week as a healthy distraction from the existential realisation that all our actions are ultimately meaningless!
MARLINISTS FACING ‘INCREASINGLY GRAVE’ FUTURE - 6 March 3309
The Marlinist colonies are starting to realise that launching a solo music career is a bit trickier when your competition are giant malevolent screaming magnolias that seek the destruction of all life. With the threat of the Thargoids growing ever stronger, Marlinist colonies have found it not only harder to fight back against the rage petals but they've also noticed a lot of their air space is being taken up by factions as they stage their own battlegrounds. They've expressed a willingness to get involved with Aegis, but are concerned that losing control of their systems would make that hard. The Empire has responded to their plight with "Ah ha ha. Suck it, deserters" which is about as compassionate as we can really hope.
ALLIANCE SENDS WARNING TO KUMO CREW - 7 March 3309
The Alliance has revealed evidence that the Kumo Crew crime syndicate may have been involved in...er...crime. Yes, the totally benevolent act to help defend the California Nebula against the waves of deadly aliens may have featured everyone's favourite type of motive, ulterior. The Thargoid attacks had been speculated for a while. The Alliance has indicated that evidence shows the Kumo crew carefully positioning their military, using a combination of subterfuge and really obvious villain moustache twirling, so that they could take advantage of the situation. The Alliance has noticed that it cost them quite dearly and has stated "We're watching you", which is weirdly what my Air BnB landlord kept texting me at 4am.
ARCHON DELAINE COUNTERS MAHON’S REBUKE - 9 March 3309
Following the Alliance's accusations of criminal activity, the known criminal activity group has responded with "no u". Archon Delaine has hit back at Mahon offering the viewpoint that really society was the true criminal all along. The crux of his counter argument is that the Alliance aligned corporations nearby are clearly using underhanded tactics themselves to get ahead. The Independent journalist Lafosse offered the viewpoint that a number of these Alliance groups were clearly working with the Kumo Crew for personal gain, notably everyone's favourite trillionaire, Rackham also seemed to have a hand in things. Honestly, if you can't trust the super rich to not use underhanded methods for their own personal gain then who can you trust?
That's it for this week. Join us again after enough time has significantly passed to remind you that you once had hope in your life!
MARLINISTS FACING ‘INCREASINGLY GRAVE’ FUTURE - 6 March 3309
The Marlinist colonies are starting to realise that launching a solo music career is a bit trickier when your competition are giant malevolent screaming magnolias that seek the destruction of all life. With the threat of the Thargoids growing ever stronger, Marlinist colonies have found it not only harder to fight back against the rage petals but they've also noticed a lot of their air space is being taken up by factions as they stage their own battlegrounds. They've expressed a willingness to get involved with Aegis, but are concerned that losing control of their systems would make that hard. The Empire has responded to their plight with "Ah ha ha. Suck it, deserters" which is about as compassionate as we can really hope.
ALLIANCE SENDS WARNING TO KUMO CREW - 7 March 3309
The Alliance has revealed evidence that the Kumo Crew crime syndicate may have been involved in...er...crime. Yes, the totally benevolent act to help defend the California Nebula against the waves of deadly aliens may have featured everyone's favourite type of motive, ulterior. The Thargoid attacks had been speculated for a while. The Alliance has indicated that evidence shows the Kumo crew carefully positioning their military, using a combination of subterfuge and really obvious villain moustache twirling, so that they could take advantage of the situation. The Alliance has noticed that it cost them quite dearly and has stated "We're watching you", which is weirdly what my Air BnB landlord kept texting me at 4am.
ARCHON DELAINE COUNTERS MAHON’S REBUKE - 9 March 3309
Following the Alliance's accusations of criminal activity, the known criminal activity group has responded with "no u". Archon Delaine has hit back at Mahon offering the viewpoint that really society was the true criminal all along. The crux of his counter argument is that the Alliance aligned corporations nearby are clearly using underhanded tactics themselves to get ahead. The Independent journalist Lafosse offered the viewpoint that a number of these Alliance groups were clearly working with the Kumo Crew for personal gain, notably everyone's favourite trillionaire, Rackham also seemed to have a hand in things. Honestly, if you can't trust the super rich to not use underhanded methods for their own personal gain then who can you trust?
That's it for this week. Join us again after enough time has significantly passed to remind you that you once had hope in your life!
