Greetings Commanders!
It's time to sit back, get back up because you sat back too far and sit forward a little bit as we go over all the GalNet news from this week!
REFUGEES FLEE FROM THARGOID OFFENSIVE - 5 December
People are running from Thargoid controlled systems almost as quickly as the rest of the CM Team run from me when I bring up my latest "Game suggestion". The Thargoids continue to aggressively target human stations and settlements, forcing the local populace to fight back, flee or have an existential breakdown whilst disintegrating. Humanity continues to fight back but the Thargoid war machine is at full strength right now and shows little sign of breaking down.
CHASE ADMITS KINGFISHER MISSION ‘A MISTAKE’ - 6 December
"I can't believe sending a ship full of defenseless people to go and meet a notably hostile force would be a bad idea!" Says man who coincidentally was busy washing his hair that day. Yes, just a short while after everyone on the Kingfisher has been forcefully given extended vacation time from this plane of existence, Dalton Chase has acknowledge that maybe cuddles not struggles wasn't really the way forward. Dalton Chase has pledged to introduce Xeno-Diplomacy into full regulation to limit civilian involvement whilst Secretary of State Lana Berkovich wants an investigation into chase on the grounds that getting thousands of people killed for a PR campaign is a bit wasteful.
PLANS FOR ENHANCED AX WEAPONRY ACCELERATE - 7 December
When the going gets tough the tough get guns. Engineers Liz Ryder and Zacariah Nemo have sensibly looked at the rising flames across the galaxy and decided that now might be the time to get more anti-xeno guns in circulation. What originally started as a fun side hobby (I mean who among us doesn't tinker with weapons of mass destruction on our own time?) has now transformed into a intergalactic arms race to get new bug zapping shooty things off the ground and into Thargoid faces. Obviously such a rapid turn around needs some help, so the duo have been looking to Commanders across the Milky Way to help get them set up.
CARNAGE WROUGHT BY FURTHER MAELSTROMS - 8 December
The surprisingly friendly sounding rogue signal sources named Cocijo and Oya have arrived in human occupied space and unsuprisingly turned out to be unfriendly. Thargoid ships have been causing more chaos and carnage than a billionaire getting into cyan coloured ornithology. The sheer number of Thargoid invaders and the threat of even more rogue signal sources arriving sooner than people would like has rather overwhelmed the human races ability to not die. It's OK, Azimuth Biotech's new megaship is here to save the day...You can always rely on them right?
That's it for this week. As we enter December we hope you enjoy your scripted engagement in global commercialism and don't think too hard about the crushing inevitability of your own fleeting lives.
It's time to sit back, get back up because you sat back too far and sit forward a little bit as we go over all the GalNet news from this week!
REFUGEES FLEE FROM THARGOID OFFENSIVE - 5 December
People are running from Thargoid controlled systems almost as quickly as the rest of the CM Team run from me when I bring up my latest "Game suggestion". The Thargoids continue to aggressively target human stations and settlements, forcing the local populace to fight back, flee or have an existential breakdown whilst disintegrating. Humanity continues to fight back but the Thargoid war machine is at full strength right now and shows little sign of breaking down.
CHASE ADMITS KINGFISHER MISSION ‘A MISTAKE’ - 6 December
"I can't believe sending a ship full of defenseless people to go and meet a notably hostile force would be a bad idea!" Says man who coincidentally was busy washing his hair that day. Yes, just a short while after everyone on the Kingfisher has been forcefully given extended vacation time from this plane of existence, Dalton Chase has acknowledge that maybe cuddles not struggles wasn't really the way forward. Dalton Chase has pledged to introduce Xeno-Diplomacy into full regulation to limit civilian involvement whilst Secretary of State Lana Berkovich wants an investigation into chase on the grounds that getting thousands of people killed for a PR campaign is a bit wasteful.
PLANS FOR ENHANCED AX WEAPONRY ACCELERATE - 7 December
When the going gets tough the tough get guns. Engineers Liz Ryder and Zacariah Nemo have sensibly looked at the rising flames across the galaxy and decided that now might be the time to get more anti-xeno guns in circulation. What originally started as a fun side hobby (I mean who among us doesn't tinker with weapons of mass destruction on our own time?) has now transformed into a intergalactic arms race to get new bug zapping shooty things off the ground and into Thargoid faces. Obviously such a rapid turn around needs some help, so the duo have been looking to Commanders across the Milky Way to help get them set up.
CARNAGE WROUGHT BY FURTHER MAELSTROMS - 8 December
The surprisingly friendly sounding rogue signal sources named Cocijo and Oya have arrived in human occupied space and unsuprisingly turned out to be unfriendly. Thargoid ships have been causing more chaos and carnage than a billionaire getting into cyan coloured ornithology. The sheer number of Thargoid invaders and the threat of even more rogue signal sources arriving sooner than people would like has rather overwhelmed the human races ability to not die. It's OK, Azimuth Biotech's new megaship is here to save the day...You can always rely on them right?
That's it for this week. As we enter December we hope you enjoy your scripted engagement in global commercialism and don't think too hard about the crushing inevitability of your own fleeting lives.
Oh, that's amazing.... I musk ask: who came up with this one?