Greetings flittering souls trapped in corporeal flesh suits hoping to stave off the cold hand of oblivion! Another week has gone screaming past us and another one is driving on its way and ignoring the check engine lights. That means its time to force feed the weeks GalNet news into your vision sockets and catch up on what's been going on in the universe over the past two weeks!
THARGOID SCYTHES UNDERTAKE ‘HUMAN HARVEST’ - 9 August 3309
Gadzooks! Dost no one in this century cry out, as news trickles in that a new Thargoid vessel has been identified as abducting humans! Who would ever have conceived of an alien race abducting humanity? Why such things have never been rumoured before! This new vessel, dubbed the Scythe to be extra creepy, has been spotted as interdicting ships, attacking them to make the ships uninhabitable and then scooping up the escape pods like a four year old near unguarded chocolate. What diabolical purpose these abductions have remains unclear but the evidence does seem to indicate that this smack and snack style approach to ships may be what happened to all those delightful cultists after they overwhelmed and ran off with the Dedicant.
AEGIS INVESTIGATES MISSING POPULATIONS - 10 August 3309
The news of Thargoid ships scooping up humans like a pick n mix has encouraged Aegis to consider the possibility that maybe they should have a look into some of the disappearances since the start of the war. Having previously just assumed everyone who couldn't be found after an attack had just been extra flammable, Aegis investigations have revealed the unnerving possibility that these abductions have been going on for quite some time and on a colossal scale. What horrific reasons could they be stealing people for? Food? Fuel? So Thargoida Deville can have a fabulous human coat? The truth, as 90s TV will confirm, is out there.
DISTANT THARGOID ENCOUNTER RAISES QUESTIONS - 14 August 3309
A great scientist once said "It's right here Ray. It's looking at me..." and this certainly seems an applicable quote for this news story. Commander Renia Rakowski was just minding their own business near Wregoe GA-X B3-0 system when they experienced a sudden stop and the ominous green glow of a Thargoid ship. Fully expecting to lose weight via a new disintegrating atoms diet, Renia was surprised to find the Thargoid take a look at them and casually fly off. There were no reported invasions or barnacle sites around that area so it remains a mystery what the Thargoid was doing there in the first place. Authorities have advised people not to go there anyway in case there is something more malicious behind the Thargoid's seeming benevolence.
ALIEN ABDUCTION EVIDENCE INCREASES - 15 August 3309
As Aegis' news about Thargoid abductions makes it to the local populace, more and more people have been coming forward with the stories about witnessing it first hand. Quite why they waited until someone else pointed out the issue is a ponderance for another day, but stories of Scythes swooping down and sweeping people off their feet and into their carapaced embrace are now flooding in. They range from scared pilots talking about just trying to protect their passengers from distraught parents talking about never hearing from their kids again. You know, just classic wholesome stuff and not utter dread and despair.
ANCIENT ALIEN BATTLEGROUND DISCOVERED - 17 August 3309
Having ignored the "Please don't go here even though we know you will" request from authorities, people went to check out Wregoe BU-Y b2-0 system following reports that a Thargoid had been found acting unthargoidly in the Wregoe GA-X B3-0 system. What they discovered there astounded scientists and tin foil hatters alike! Remnants of the ancient battle between the Thargoids and the Guardians were revealed to be waiting for us to discover. To make things more intriguing the Thargoids in the area don't appear to be immediately hostile to human ships, giving the impression they are following the commands of the long forgotten war where the human race wasn't a factor. Investigators are keen to learn more about the area and have also been advising that military vessels not engage the insectoid wanderers for fear that we do what we always do, make things much worse.
DUVALS RALLY AROUND IMPERIAL MOTHER - 18 August 3309
Having potentially had a brush with Madam Death and her medically illiterate daughters, the Imperial Mother has suddenly come across all...motherly. She's been talking to family members and suggesting that maybe, just maybe people could bury the hatchet. Preferably in a proverbial manner and not literally this time. With the prospect of deleting her save file in this reality and starting a new game plus elsewhere, the Imperial Mother has been trying to mend the rifts between the big three of the Empress, Princess and the moron with limited life expectancy. Will a tragedy in the family be what the Imperial family needs to come together or will this result in another power grab? Blood is thicker than water lazy people say, but you still shouldn't try and walk on it.
That's it for this week. We'll be back in the future, so long as no one presses THAT button and ends it all.
THARGOID SCYTHES UNDERTAKE ‘HUMAN HARVEST’ - 9 August 3309
Gadzooks! Dost no one in this century cry out, as news trickles in that a new Thargoid vessel has been identified as abducting humans! Who would ever have conceived of an alien race abducting humanity? Why such things have never been rumoured before! This new vessel, dubbed the Scythe to be extra creepy, has been spotted as interdicting ships, attacking them to make the ships uninhabitable and then scooping up the escape pods like a four year old near unguarded chocolate. What diabolical purpose these abductions have remains unclear but the evidence does seem to indicate that this smack and snack style approach to ships may be what happened to all those delightful cultists after they overwhelmed and ran off with the Dedicant.
AEGIS INVESTIGATES MISSING POPULATIONS - 10 August 3309
The news of Thargoid ships scooping up humans like a pick n mix has encouraged Aegis to consider the possibility that maybe they should have a look into some of the disappearances since the start of the war. Having previously just assumed everyone who couldn't be found after an attack had just been extra flammable, Aegis investigations have revealed the unnerving possibility that these abductions have been going on for quite some time and on a colossal scale. What horrific reasons could they be stealing people for? Food? Fuel? So Thargoida Deville can have a fabulous human coat? The truth, as 90s TV will confirm, is out there.
DISTANT THARGOID ENCOUNTER RAISES QUESTIONS - 14 August 3309
A great scientist once said "It's right here Ray. It's looking at me..." and this certainly seems an applicable quote for this news story. Commander Renia Rakowski was just minding their own business near Wregoe GA-X B3-0 system when they experienced a sudden stop and the ominous green glow of a Thargoid ship. Fully expecting to lose weight via a new disintegrating atoms diet, Renia was surprised to find the Thargoid take a look at them and casually fly off. There were no reported invasions or barnacle sites around that area so it remains a mystery what the Thargoid was doing there in the first place. Authorities have advised people not to go there anyway in case there is something more malicious behind the Thargoid's seeming benevolence.
ALIEN ABDUCTION EVIDENCE INCREASES - 15 August 3309
As Aegis' news about Thargoid abductions makes it to the local populace, more and more people have been coming forward with the stories about witnessing it first hand. Quite why they waited until someone else pointed out the issue is a ponderance for another day, but stories of Scythes swooping down and sweeping people off their feet and into their carapaced embrace are now flooding in. They range from scared pilots talking about just trying to protect their passengers from distraught parents talking about never hearing from their kids again. You know, just classic wholesome stuff and not utter dread and despair.
ANCIENT ALIEN BATTLEGROUND DISCOVERED - 17 August 3309
Having ignored the "Please don't go here even though we know you will" request from authorities, people went to check out Wregoe BU-Y b2-0 system following reports that a Thargoid had been found acting unthargoidly in the Wregoe GA-X B3-0 system. What they discovered there astounded scientists and tin foil hatters alike! Remnants of the ancient battle between the Thargoids and the Guardians were revealed to be waiting for us to discover. To make things more intriguing the Thargoids in the area don't appear to be immediately hostile to human ships, giving the impression they are following the commands of the long forgotten war where the human race wasn't a factor. Investigators are keen to learn more about the area and have also been advising that military vessels not engage the insectoid wanderers for fear that we do what we always do, make things much worse.
DUVALS RALLY AROUND IMPERIAL MOTHER - 18 August 3309
Having potentially had a brush with Madam Death and her medically illiterate daughters, the Imperial Mother has suddenly come across all...motherly. She's been talking to family members and suggesting that maybe, just maybe people could bury the hatchet. Preferably in a proverbial manner and not literally this time. With the prospect of deleting her save file in this reality and starting a new game plus elsewhere, the Imperial Mother has been trying to mend the rifts between the big three of the Empress, Princess and the moron with limited life expectancy. Will a tragedy in the family be what the Imperial family needs to come together or will this result in another power grab? Blood is thicker than water lazy people say, but you still shouldn't try and walk on it.
That's it for this week. We'll be back in the future, so long as no one presses THAT button and ends it all.
. Big bad thargoids 
