General / Off-Topic How do I tell everyone around me that I'm sick of it?
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Ignore those random people. They don't know you and they have no right to judge you in any shape of form. So what if people look at you funny, you don't know them. So what if some low life idiot calls you names, you don't know them, and they can't really hurt you unless you let them hurt you. Be better then what they are and realise these people are not worth considereing if you want to go out or not.
Yes you are 24 and not in the best shape mentally or physically. The most important parts are thet you are alive, you seem to be a good person and things will get better.
The fact that you know what your own issues are is one of the best signs. You know you can do something about them. Depression can be a self inflicting downward spiral. You need to try to break out of that spiral any way you can.
Obviously being attacked by your Mum's ex is horrendous, is that over with now? I think there's a difference between not trusting people and expecting to be attacked any minute though - because not everyone's the same - and if you do mean you're literally being attacked, in the street daily, and if you contacted the authorities once, there is a law called harassment which is to do with being put in fear of violence.
If someone's physically attacking you though, you'll need to be able to prove or at least have friend so take steps to do so. Carry a tape recorder to catch the verbal abuse maybe and/or definitely tell your doctor. (Do you have a doctor? Get one. .. "look at this bruise Doc, that bloke at number 27 did it" .. get your doctor to fight the battle for you, via the police).
I'm sure there are ups and downs - quite natural - but TJ is also right too. The more you 'act the victim' the more you can invite it because people can sense soft targets in a very instinctive way. You have to (internally) put your foot down. You're saying it here really, so tell yourself that it's NOT acceptable, that you are NOT going to take it and that you'll do whatever it takes to stop the harassment. (That's very different from why oh why oh why, which is not constructive)
Work out a plan how you'll stop them (doctor/police). Now if you're stopped in the street you're less of a target because if someone looks you in the eye you'll be thinking 'touch me and you'll regret it'. Don't say it, no need (and actually risky) but think it, because what you're thinking changes your body angle, your eyes, your stature and it can be a really powerful way of communicating, that you're not so stupid you don't know a bully when you see one. That's the sort of person you hold in a level of contempt.
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Unicorn, do you have a mental health professional, case worker, or psychologist that is fully aware of your situation...... guiding you through the process?
Guys being positive on the forums is nice, but it sounds like you need to make sure you are getting cogent advice and guidance from someone with a proven professional track record in helping people make real progress. Many times niceties, good intentions, and positive thinking can only get you so far.
I wish you all the best.
Guys being positive on the forums is nice, but it sounds like you need to make sure you are getting cogent advice and guidance from someone with a proven professional track record in helping people make real progress. Many times niceties, good intentions, and positive thinking can only get you so far.
I wish you all the best.
Deleted member 110222
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Let's put things into perspective here, about how little outside contact I have. Excluding FD employees, only five people on this forum have more posts than me. And they've all been a member for at least a year longer than me.
That's how reliant I am on the Internet. I can easily go months without uttering a word outside the house.
The Internet is all I've got when it comes to talking to people, because someone can't punch me through the screen.
But I just am sick of it. Again I want nothing more than to put the computer down. But it's not simple or easy, else I'd have done that already. Believe me I want to.
That's how reliant I am on the Internet. I can easily go months without uttering a word outside the house.
The Internet is all I've got when it comes to talking to people, because someone can't punch me through the screen.
But I just am sick of it. Again I want nothing more than to put the computer down. But it's not simple or easy, else I'd have done that already. Believe me I want to.
Deleted member 110222
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Not every day sir, not every day.
Deleted member 110222
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It's a good place to start.
After that, try cleaning the bathroom. Then maybe doing kitchen cleanup.
It's a lot easier to move forward by being humbly "of service" to others without expectation of reward other than the satisfaction that you have been useful.
Small things matter. Being "of service" to others is important. Don't be intrusive or demanding or have expectations of others. Focus on doing things that are of value for yourself and others without expectations.
The results can be surprising and enlightening.
You don't have to change the world - you can change what's right in front of you for the better every day. We all have that opportunity.
I sympathise with this, I've got mental health issues based around Social/General Anxiety and struggled with the day to day stuff for years. I've had good support in the past, but recently thanks to the last 2 govts here in the UK mental health support is utter tosh. Dunno where you're from but it doesn't sound nice, maybe that's the problem? It's not you but the "area". I know that's crap all use to you and I don't know your housing situation but if you get help could you ask to be moved?
Oh and never forget it most certainly is NOT you that is the problem.
[video=youtube;Uq3Fh2eQ9Ls]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq3Fh2eQ9Ls[/video]
Try this
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jordan+peterson+12+rules+for+life
Try this
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jordan+peterson+12+rules+for+life
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Im not saying that you are lazy..... (thats just how the video is titled)... but this does apply to motiviation in general.
watch the video and give it a try. Im sure everything suggested here in this thread will sound like patronising advice from an unfamiliar source, each with no idea what you are really feeling or going through... which is why its up to you to cherry pick what makes sense from what is offered and mash it together.
I personally have used the ideas in the video below and its worked for me.
[video=youtube;9DbvSl_C_kY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DbvSl_C_kY[/video]
watch the video and give it a try. Im sure everything suggested here in this thread will sound like patronising advice from an unfamiliar source, each with no idea what you are really feeling or going through... which is why its up to you to cherry pick what makes sense from what is offered and mash it together.
I personally have used the ideas in the video below and its worked for me.
[video=youtube;9DbvSl_C_kY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DbvSl_C_kY[/video]
dayrth
Volunteer Moderator
This is true. At least it was for me. When I was down and could see nothing worth trying for I would boil an egg (really, I like soft boiled eggs). I would get a pan of water boiling, get the plate spoon and egg cup ready. Have some bread buttered and cut into soldiers. Then I would carefully time the egg. Sit myself up to the table and enjoy the fruits of a job well done. It's a very small thing but it brought a bit of light in to a dark day. That helped me a lot. A friend of mine used to do something similar with rolling the perfect cigarette.
Just find something small you can do. Something you enjoy. Concentrate on doing it well and be proud of the results. It's worth a go and if it doesn't work, you've lost nothing.
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You need to learn to ignore other people, what they think and what they do no matter how much its in your face.
I always think a little perspective is needed in cases where a person thinks their life is a terrible wreck that they cannot wake up from and i know that its sounds very much like an advice trope but there are people right now around the world who have it far worse than you do. Starving, in poverty, in war zones, suffering from disfiguring injuries and yet they move forward.
When you lock yourself in and blame the world for issues that you alone have the power to fix and you can't see that.... then you need to figure out what is it about yourself that is making you blind to this?
Typically its a persons pride (ironically) that prevents someone from tackling their fears and anxieties, which then leads to the rut that they are in.
You need to swap out your pride for grace and push through. The only way out... is through.
Ignore the world..., set out a step by step plan and work through that list.
identify and stop the activities that hold you back.
identify and stop the thoughts and attitudes that hold you back.
get outside.
ignore the haters.
Get in shape.
get an income.
move away from where you are now and reinvent yourself.
out is through.
I'm a firm believer that struggle builds character and typically the most interesting and sincerely decent people in the world are those who have overcome a struggle and bettered themselves as a result.
it may not seem it right now but only you have the choice. make it.
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Look at TJ. Every day he is accused of being the fault of all the bad things which arrive on this planet.
However, he is always in high spirits and always makes jokes on the forums
Deleted member 110222
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UK too. Then you also understand the stigma there is against mental health.
I think it's the cause of some of the aggressions. It's almost acceptable to bully the ill in the eyes of some.
Look guys I don't know what to say. It's all fair enough saying go out... But do what? All I've got is wondering like a vagrant. And honestly, I'm just sick of having no friends that I see regularly. It makes me feel worthless.
Very important and also to get up early every morning
You are not worthless, so take that thought and like what i said above 'identify and stop the thoughts and attitudes that hold you back' and shove it in the bin.
I know it sounds counter-intuitive but maybe being less social right now is a good idea until you build your self-esteem. If you fixate on a goal that seems constantly elusive that can sometimes become a source for more depression.
You may be wandering aimlessly but that's a first step, listen to music, set goals while you are out, explore and structure your activities. Execise is a proven remedy to depression (i know its not a solution to it) but it is a single activity that over time will give results.
It's a start and you need to start somewhere right?
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