I've been playing ED for less than a year. I started on PS4 launch day which was June last year.
In that time I've built a fleet of six ships (Sidewinder, CobraMk3, ViperMk4, AspX, Python, FDL) all of them A-rated, I've gained an Elite rank (exploration) and I've reached Imperial King and Federal Rear Admiral ranks. I currently have about 250,000,000 cr in the bank.
I didn't do much Engineering pre-3.0 because I did find it annoyingly grindy, I just did 'essentials' like extending FSD range for the Asp, etc. Since 3.0 though I've jumped right into it as it's way better and in the relatively short time since the 3.0 update I've fully (to my satisfaction anyway) engineered the Viper, Asp & Python and am most of the way through engineering the FDL.
Actually, I only bought the FDL yesterday at Jameson Memorial. I A-graded it as far as I wanted but I also G5 Engineered most of the important modules (at least the ones I thought to pin blueprints for) using the Remote Workshop, so ...thrusters, FSD, power distributor, shield generator, ...and half-engineered some other stuff, Utility Mounts mainly. It probably took me about 20 minutes in total. Sure I still have other things to do (e.g. weapons) because I didn't have them pinned, and I still need to visit the Engineers if I want Experimental Effects, but now I have a 20+LY range on a ship that had under 7LY to start with so the travelling's not going to be too much of a chore.
Granted I did have quite a lot of materials stocked up, but it didn't feel a grind to get them. My play-style changes according to my mood, so sometimes I'm happy driving around planetary surfaces blowing up the occasional rock, sometimes I fly around systems dropping into USSs to see what happens, sometimes I do a bit of bounty hunting in a RES - which has those periods after a fight when you're surrounded by nothing but green & white radar blips so I just fly around scooping the white ones until it livens up again.
I've never really felt the 'grind' in ED at least in my 11 months of playing, save for the pre-3.0 Engineers which I did mostly ignore at the time anyway (because, yeah, it was grindy). It feels like I've done quite a lot and advanced a good amount in my 11 months to be fair.
I can't say I haven't been frustrated at times, but that's far more to do with time-sinks than grind. I hate periods where you're just staring at the screen waiting for something but not actually doing anything (long super cruise journeys are the main culprit here for me - that's appalling gameplay IMHO, flying in a straight line, no need to even touch the controller, sitting watching a counter on screen, ugh!), but gameplay that actually keeps me busy is fine and seems to be varied enough that I can just switch to something else for a while if what I'm doing gets boring.