Keeping FA Off and having a ship of the appropriate color is stealth enough until you get inside sensor and NV range...at which point you do need something tantamount to a cloaking device to have stealth absent the obliviousness of the target.
Yep, Midnight Black and FA-Off go a long way to make my Cobra visually "invisible", along with the low profile of the Cobra edge-on. NV is a real kick in the pants when it comes to stealth, but a lot of players I encounter don't know to use it as an "advanced sensor". I can tell by how they fly when that they are losing me and can't find me, which I find very rewarding as a stealth pilot. I've forced ships much bigger than mine to wake out because they either can't see me or can't lock gimbals on me for any length of time. Of course these are likely just average players. I've encountered a few players who, like yourself, know exactly what they are doing and found me with relative ease, stealth or not, and using fixed weapons were able to land hits no matter how cold I went. Thankfully for every ace there are nine amateurs (this includes gankers), so I've had surprising success using stealth in ED. More importantly, I've had FUN using stealth, because it does involve a lot more than just becoming invisible like Harry Potter. As I've referenced before, it takes skill, like a pickpocket, to use stealth effectively.
Speaking of, I find it fascinating that people who say stealth in space is silly are totally fine with "stealth missions" as a person sneaking around bases. It seems they have different definitions for stealth depending on the environment.
Anyway, I've defended my position to Sag A and back again, and I stand by my arguments. If we were arguing over invisibility, then I'd grant all of you the win, but stealth is
not invisibility, it's blending into the environment in such a way to fool humans and sensors*, and there's always a chance of being detected, whether you're a medieval assassin, a submarine, or a modern-day stealth bomber. I'll also add that anti-stealth arguments seem to assume combat is taking place out in the vast, cold, empty space, but most of my Elite combat takes place in cluttered dusty rings, next to blinding stars, or near very busy and "bright" (emission-wise) installations, all perfect places to implement stealth as defined in ancient and modern warfare.
That's my final closing argument. Like it or lump it, I'm standing by my original thesis that stealth in space is NOT silly.
*
https://gizmodo.com/a-60-hack-can-fool-the-lidar-sensors-used-on-most-self-1729272292