Many play to get a brief escape from a grim reality, but thankfully so few under such tragic circumstances. You have my utmost sympathy.
Should Fdev not respond as hoped to your post, then it may ultimately be down to you and your online friends to craft a memorial into the game somehow.
There have been a few suggestions above. Maybe, one day, a fleet carrier named for her; persistent, unique, helping and protecting other commanders out in the deep black. It could become a beacon. Many of us, would, I'm sure be only too happy to help if we can.