When I think back to the days of when I did downhill mountain biking and think how this relates to the op. Hardly suicidal although my daughter refused to watch me after the qualifying rounds of the old grundig series of races in which my collarbone got to see the world.
Was I dumb? Probably yeah but they were the happiest times...I miss those days terribly...like a limb thats been amputated and I have phantom pains with it not being there anymore. Did do some conservationist work helping maintain the trails and courses, and helped extend the national cycle route, but Im not as steady on my feet as I used to be.
This is why those days are considered the good old days...now Im older, more safety conscious and bored outta my skull. I want danger...I want that adrenaline rush...thats when I feel alive...truly alive and not just existing.
If thats dumb and stupid then Im way happier being dumb...being grown up is boring as hell I really dont recommend it ^