You'd need some kind of serious outlier, like only .1% of the kills are from griefing, to start having a real debate about people exaggerating the risks.
From my perspective, the Elite setting is clearly intended to be a dystopia, where things aren't all peaches and cream, even for Pilots Federation members. A fantasy dystopia should generally look worse than the real-life existences of a bunch of comparatively wealthy individuals from predominantly first-world nations who have copious time for leisure activities on their expensive electronics collections. A one in 17 chance of having to be picked up by the rescue rangers and needing to pay a measly 5% of the cost of the ship one totaled seems less painful from the character's perspective than some very common real world misfortunes are from a player's. "My CMDR's cutthroat life is only a tenth as stressful as my upper-middle class whitebread suburban existence...woe is she!", doesn't strike me as very risky.
The prevalence of complaints is entirely understandable...if only one in ten victims of a gank complains about it on the forum, that would drown out discussion for a while. However, it should be obvious, even if every complaint is entirely on the level and in earnest, that Open is pretty safe.
Anyway, I also reject the conflation of ganking with griefing.
Eve fails precisely because it forces players together.
Fails in what sense?