Except that "still" and "moving" are equally impossible.
I would not say impossible, but linear movement and being stationary is - without a frame of reference - not distinguishable and therefore the same thing. In Einsteins universe, absolute linear movement does not exist. And because of that:
Simple question. How fast and in what direction is the Earth moving?
...relative to what?
I mean: I should be able to answer that with a clock and a rocket, yes? Keep looking for which direction makes time faster until it doesn't any more?
No. But I think you are starting to mix things up. Special relativity describes what happens to an observed reference frame from the observer point of view under relativistic speeds. Special relativity
only includes linear movement. General relativity includes accelerated movement as well but is a lot more complex.
To reach a relativistic equilibrium while accelerating, I should be accelerating 9.81 m/s^2 to the observer back on earth, who is accelerating at the same speed as the result of gravitational pull (or should I say SpaceTime push
).
But we can't (no special frames); so something important is missing from this picture.
Yes we can't and no there is nothing missing. You said it yourself:
It seems like the whole point of special relativity is that you can look at any given thing as stationary and be right.
This^ is indeed the whole point (
of special relativity), without a (third, or 'special' in your words) frame of reference that is. If we are both moving away from each other at 0.4 C, than I can say I am stationary and you are moving at 0.8 C and the other way around, and we would both be right. I see your time getting delated and you'll see mine getting delated.
If you want more, you're going to need general relativity.