General / Off-Topic Subcruise

RELSPI

RELSPI
Now, everyone talks about Supercruise. But there should be a low-fat alternative!

Introducing Subcruise - an innovative technology that allows you to travel slower than light! With Subcruise, you can:
  • Travel at sub-light speeds up to 10m/s!
  • Save energy!
  • Shrink down your waist!
  • Shrink down your hips!
  • Shrink down your entire body as you begin to starve!
  • Begin to run out of water!
  • Begin to run out of oxygen!
  • Smash your hands into a bloody pulp, desperately clawing at the controls, trying to get your ship to move somwhere, anywhere, as your air supply dwindles to nothing!
  • Record your last logs, voice unrecognisable from days of pain, grief and fear!
  • End it all by venting yourself into the airlock without a Remlok suit!
  • Save 30% on fuel mileage!

Please, guys, get this to FDev!
 

Phongsalt

Phongsalt
RELSPI said:
  • Travel at sub-light speeds up to 10m/s! -Mmm-hmm.
  • Save energy! - i'll think about it

  • Shrink down your waist!
  • Shrink down your hips! - now haddon a minute*

  • Shrink down your entire body as you begin to starve! - Y I Otter

  • Begin to run out of water!
  • Begin to run out of oxygen! - This is the hokey cokey,isn't it!

  • Smash your hands into a bloody pulp, desperately clawing at the controls, trying to get your ship to move somwhere, anywhere, as your air supply dwindles to nothing! -Yup,thot so.
  • Record your last logs, voice unrecognisable from days of pain, grief and fear! -Sav your breath.
  • End it all by venting yourself into the airlock without a Remlok suit! - Request for SD button redesign noted.
  • Save 30% on fuel mileage! - Your custom is important to us.You have been placed in a queue.You are currently ticket number............drrrrrrrrrrr.
Please, guys, get this to FDev!
Click to expand...

*Set course for the nearest black hole for optimal spaghettification.
 
Last edited:
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