Another day off in the sunny Caribbean. Rainy season started, which is the exact opposite of British Summer: we occasionally see a little rain.
Got the farm delivery, with a giant make-up watermelon. "What?" You say, is that?
The last one we got sounded slightly hollow. We put it on the counter, and it produced a droplet of clear water on the side.
"Did you wet it?" the wife wanted to know.
Of course I hadn't gone and put a drop on the watermelon. As we observed it, it made the drop bigger, it slid down the side, and another bigger drop immediately appeared. Then it started whistling.
A tiny jet of watery juice ejected from the watermelon, spraying into the sink.
"It's a good shot" said I. Took a sample. It smelled bad.
Then it started fizzing and bubbling. Soon the kitchen smelled like a corpse. I bundled it quickly into a plastic bag, just in time for it to suddenly crack open like a core asteroid and emit deep red putrid juice and a huge puff of vile gas.
"They got it sold just in time" I observed, but my wife was already sending them pictures. So the replacement came today.
Yes it's off topic. Whaddya want from me?