I love Elite Dangerous. I wish it would love me back.
I came in during the waning days of late Beta. Lived through Gamma, and up to just before 1.1 before I simply stopped. I lost the drive to keep playing.
Why?
It was obvious that I wasnt getting anywhere. I spun the wheels one too many times. I felt the cold shoulder treatment the game was giving me finally. The honeymoon was over.
I'm 30 years of age, I realize that I'm not as young, as healthy, or as free as my younger, more "hardcore gamer" self. I work two jobs, have health issues, suffer repetitive stress injury in my arm and hands too often, and thanks to IRL stress management issues, I've been told that I'm now required to go through an anger management course from one of my employers. I cant blame them. I need it.
I played like how everyone started. Sidewinder, did some BBS courier jobs to get some starting capital. Moved up to the Eagle for some pewpew, then started saving up to the Cobra (making the mistake of skipping the Viper), and tried everything. Did a spot of mining (fell asleep from the boredom), rare trades (may have tapped the rare trades open "exploit" back in the Gamma days to gain some much-needed cash to upgrade things a bit. Was good the first run. Hated the next 4), normal trades (profit margins are way too low, was bored, then started hating it, then fell asleep smashing against a station, blowing me up and losing my cargo of platinum). Trading is too close to being a third job to top my first two. No thanks.
Realizing trade isnt for me, I went ahead and set myself up for exploration. Got pretty far, about 2k-ish LY from the closest civilized system I could find. Felt the pressure of realizing that if I up, I lose everything, didnt like it. Started hating the fear and pressure, had a stressful 3 nights booking my ass back to the closest station.
Went ahead and started combat professions. Hated the low pay of combat zones (even with the buff, still too low IMHO), moved to interdicting big pay targets in super-cruise. Thoroughly enjoyed it, felt like I was really hunting down marks for my paycheck. Enjoyed it even more with the bounty buff. Found several systems I could set up "camps" to find my bounties. Discovered RES node bounty hunting, started upgrading my Cobra to top-of-the-line A-grade.
Then from a suggestion, I downgraded to the Viper, discovered the great joy of a true combat ship, wanting more. Scored my first Anaconda assassination mission in that ship. Flew that ship into the ground. Flew my hands and arms into the ground as well from so much combat flying, pressed an indentation of my joystick in my hand. Didnt care, was having a lot of fun.
Tried upgrading to the Asp, discovered the repair and running costs were too high, downgraded back to the Viper, realizing the week's worth of free time in that ship was a pure waste, and this is where I started hating the grind, and the lack of combat ships. To add to this, discovered the earning potential of trade Asps was significantly higher than my credit-per-hour. People who started later than me (launch) are in Type 7's, Clippers, Dropships, Pythons. I'm still in my Viper. People start talking about these ships. I'm still in my Viper.
Then the Anaconda videos and posts started showing up, my personal goal and dream in Elite Dangerous. A dream too bloody far.
I had it, I just stopped. The amount of grind, the obvious mechanics focus on trade vs the multiple mechanics negatives combat-oriented play styles suffer, too much time in the Viper coupled with the now-disappointing combat performance of the Cobra and the even more disappointing experience I had with the Asp was too much.
Now with 1.2, I'm giving the game one last chance. I did the unprecedented act of requesting time off (something I've never done in nearly 7 and 5 years of working two jobs) for the weekend to let the game convince me its still worth my meager time and effort.
I'm not liking my chances personally. 2 days to go from a Viper to a Vulture. Already I'm fuming at the extremely high cost of the supposed "combat-oriented" ships. I am not doing trades or exploration. I've tried them, I didnt like them, I didnt have fun with them.
I intend to have fun with this game. If it wont happen, I guess I'll have to move on as much as I dont want to. I'm too unwell and too busy not to.
