Unless you are fired upon, only way your ship can be destroyed in planetary landings is usually tied with too much speed, or too deep angle. When your HUD turns red, you are having too deep angle and too much speed. When you drop from supercruise and glide phase ends, check what is local gravity. That number is in low right corner of HUD. Anything over 1g means that you need to be extra carefull. Now if you are trying to land on base, you need landing permission. Once you are inside 7km radius of base, ask for landing permission. And then head towards appointed landing platform. Not having permission or trying to land on wrong pad eventually leads to you being blasted to pieces. When doing terrain landing key to success is level terrain with no obstructions AND low speed&carefull flying. Ham fisted manouvers lead to collisions with terrain and those can be fatal. On high G worlds they can be instantly fatal.
One trick in landing, while you have reached right spot, over pad or hud tells you terrain is landable set throttle to zero, check that landing gear is lowered, then toggle flight assist off/on in short bursts so that gravity pulls you lower and lower, do not use thrusters to force you lower, that can be fatal in high g worlds.
Planetary landings can be tricky but after you master some trick I mentioned those should be easy in most worlds. Off course some oddball places which have very high G are very very dangerous still, any error can lead to fiery destruction.