*Ace pilot and good to all God's creatures, Kermit "Thunderbolt" Laphroaig parks his Sidewinder out in one of the back docks, and proceeds to the meeting hall where this thread is taking place. After being frisked and most of his knives and pocket flasks confiscated, he is permitted to stand before a closed room of people*
Hi ho, Kermit Laphroaig here, and I'm Chief Ambassador of Goonfleet, a much misunderstood, even kind-hearted group of individuals who would never kill for no reason (but have, and will kill, for money). I have been asked today by my fellows to represent them in this inquest into the behavior of the- what was it? Empire's Guys... Emp- ... Pardon me.
*checks bloodstained set of index cards*
oh, of course, the Emperor's Grace Guys. I have come here to report on their behavior which may be of interest to anyone with a sense of decency.
First off, the Goons I represent have no ties to the EGG. What they do is not condoned behavior with us. That should probably be telling to most of you right there.
Second, we stress that Goonfleet, as but a humble trading guild sometimes, strives to be friendly with all factions it can, especially the Empire, and in fact many hold rank or even peerage there. We certainly wish him best of health.
Third, we have a established base of operations in LTT 700. As of yesterday, it has been filled with members of the EGG patrolling and harassing innocent goons in a systematic display of aggression. I assume Commander Judoh, who is my counterpart in the EGG, will answer why a friend of the Empire is an enemy to their band of bitter bros. I have more specific micro-aggressions to air, which I will gladly answer after punch and pie is served.
Fourth, we have indeed had traders attempt to trade with the stations within Kappa Tun... Tun- in Kappacanoe, and Tyler too. Apparently, EGG is against us attempting to improve the lives of their system's citizens, or as I call them, "terror victims".
Fifth- sit down, Judoh, they need to know this- I have solid evidence an offshoot of their thug band- okay, fine, Judoh, PR gloves back on- an offshoot of their
*Kermit makes air quotes with his fingers while rolling his eyes*
"Organization"
has made a home in a system patronized by Senator Torval, and in fact has heavy ties with the Citizen's Forum, run by that same Patronage. Torval, as you know, has voiced concern about the Emperor - bless his heart - and his ability to rule. Meaning these men and women of EGG here today, who have the audacity to claim allegiance to the Emperor, while taking the money of one who would undermine his authority. And I don't know about you, but where I am from, that's a paddlin'.
I now give the floor back to Judoh, and will also answer any questions and concerns of any of you folk.
*lights a cigar, puffs, and looks grim as heck*