I don't care that anyone 'thinks' a ship is wanted and so it 'should' be OK to shoot at it. THE SCAN MUST BE COMPLETED BEFORE YOU SHOOT AT THE TARGET. However: As stated above, if you have a ton of gold in your hold, the bad guys will shoot first and if you hit your hostile button, you have a completed scan of the aggressor; well after it has scanned any missiles that may be near you.
Stay shoots and 'friendly fire': Every one says, 'oh it is only a couple of shoots' and 'they have shields, so what difference does it make?' Well it can make a difference. As stated before; if you are Allied with the said faction; it takes more then just a couple of shots, to get the 'lets all turn on him' response. The reason for the harshness is simple. If you have a new player in a stock sidewinder with their fixed small pulses, hit most ships in the game; it is not going to cause much damage to the shields etc. A couple of small pulses can pew pew all day and the battle hardened ships are hardly going to notice; but if the said player is in an FDL that has six times the fire power, if it is just fitted with pulse weapons and god know how many times more powerful, if fitted with rail-guns or P.As.. Then that IS going to make a difference, that IS going to do damage and after a few shots, could destroy the target ship. Also, if the target ship, is already suffering, one or two stray shots from an FDL could finish it off.
I used to be in the 'watch your fire and show some discipline' camp; but that was when I could only afford to fly a Cobra. Which with a little discipline, it is easy to avoid the friendly fire stuff. These days I use turrets and have more and bigger guns to play with and realise that 'these things can sometimes happen' and if it does, I have to pay the price and run away, but only if I have not first taken notice of the warnings, I have been given; because as I have said: If you are Allied, you get a warning. I have run beams down half the length of an Anaconda and just been told; watch your fire Commander.
Agreed again: It should be just a fine and not have every ship turn on you, but how many times should you be able to get away with it? I think the second time you do it, you should be told, 'You have 1 minute to leave the zone' or then, you will be killed.
As to the 'it was not me, it was my crew mate' issue. Get rid of the crew mate.