[Humour] Guess The Instant Death Bug For 2.4

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead · Aug 17, 2017

In celebration of 2.4 beta impending release, where I'm hoping the skimmer bug will be fixed, let's have a laugh about what it could be replaced with.

1 guess per post!

Most Hilarious wins... errr... rep!
Most Accurate wins... errr.... foresight!

Here's mine;

Incorrectly Assigned Landing Pad. MkII.
You will be assigned to a landing pad, which is actually not your landing pad at all. Landing on it is trespassing. And you get shot down for it.
Docking Computer also tries to land on incorrect landing pad.
Work Around: Test every other active landing pad to see which is really yours.
Aka, musical chairs, in spaaaaaceeeeee!

Have fun!

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

hunvagy · Aug 17, 2017

In the vein of the olden days when interdicting ships just appeared on your windscreen, I vote for instant vaporization by Tholian-flower-through-my-canopy.

GreyAreaUK · Aug 17, 2017

In an effort to prevent the use of mines inside a station, mines now randomly spawn on landing pads.

MarkAusten · Aug 17, 2017

How about the only way to get through the slot is backwards, but if you hit anything the station kills you.

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead · Aug 17, 2017

Lol, love it.

GreyAreaUK said:
In an effort to prevent the use of mines inside a station, ~~mines now randomly spawn on landing pads.~~

the station now shoots down anyone carrying mines. Even if you equip them while landed.

Micha · Aug 17, 2017

Free-floating asteroids and comets have been introduced with 2.4.

Much rejoicing ensues.

Until you hit the first randomly-spawned one head-on in supercruise and become your very own comet...

TorTorden_VR · Aug 17, 2017

CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
Lol, love it.

the station now shoots down anyone carrying mines. Even if you equip them while landed.

I'm ok with that.

GreyAreaUK · Aug 17, 2017

CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
Lol, love it.

the station now shoots down anyone carrying mines. Even if you equip them while landed.

TorTorden said:
I'm ok with that.

I see that more as a QoL improvement

Whiterose · Aug 17, 2017

CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
In celebration of 2.4 beta impending release, where I'm hoping the skimmer bug will be fixed, let's have a laugh about what it could be replaced with.

1 guess per post!

Most Hilarious wins... errr... rep!
Most Accurate wins... errr.... foresight!

Here's mine;

Incorrectly Assigned Landing Pad. MkII.
You will be assigned to a landing pad, which is actually not your landing pad at all. Landing on it is trespassing. And you get shot down for it.
Docking Computer also tries to land on incorrect landing pad.
Work Around: Test every other active landing pad to see which is really yours.
Aka, musical chairs, in spaaaaaceeeeee!

Have fun!

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

Just like flying with Ryan Air....

The next instakill will be randomly exploding cargo cartons.

Every guy will then think its a good idea to jettison his cargo while docked.....

TomS · Aug 17, 2017

Groundhog Day

All hyperspace jumps take you to Beagle point - even jumps from Beagle point take you to Beagle point.

Bill Murray is there. You kill yourself.

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead · Aug 17, 2017

20K Ly Router Plotting Error
Plotting a route up to 20,000ly is now available in 2.4. However, plotting a 20,000ly route will activate and confirm the Self Destruct Sequence while you watch your map attempt to plot the route.

Cmdr Esteban · Aug 17, 2017

Hull repair limpets - they work well but when they return to your ship cargo hold they are marked as "stolen". Once you're scanned, everyone at the RES/Nav Beacon is gunning for you...

JonLuis69 · Aug 17, 2017

Misplaced decimal point increases gravity by a factor of 10...galaxy wide.

No one survives this blunder, the fix is worse than a gamewide reset, and Frontier abandon ED to focus on the Hollywood blockbuster game... Ewoks: Funfair.

Shiro Akai · Aug 17, 2017

Enter the Slaughterhouse

Stations does not record granted docking permission. Loitering won't be tolerated.

Conch · Aug 17, 2017

rebuy will now have the sidewinder as default option instead of your previous ship

b101uk · Aug 17, 2017

the skimmer bug is not a bug in truth, its a pilot competency test, pilots who fail it because they are plane old incompetent or have a high reliance on docking computers and think it relieves them of responsibility are no longer eligible for being test pilots of captured Thargoid ships.

aussi · Aug 17, 2017

The new 'eyewear' feature accidentally affects the actual game, immediately blacking out your view, and because you can't see anything you a) can't get back into outfitting to correct it and b) immediately crash into the nearest hard object.

stridecolossus · Aug 17, 2017

Turreted weapons how been buffed to a 360 degree arc of fire.

(think about it...)

GreyAreaUK · Aug 17, 2017

aussi said:
The new 'eyewear' feature accidentally affects the actual game, immediately blacking out your view, and because you can't see anything you a) can't get back into outfitting to correct it and b) immediately crash into the nearest hard object.

Ah, the old Joo Janta 200 Super Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses.

Strangepork · Aug 17, 2017

CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
In celebration of 2.4 beta impending release, where I'm hoping the skimmer bug will be fixed, let's have a laugh about what it could be replaced with.

1 guess per post!

Most Hilarious wins... errr... rep!
Most Accurate wins... errr.... foresight!

Here's mine;

Incorrectly Assigned Landing Pad. MkII.
You will be assigned to a landing pad, which is actually not your landing pad at all. Landing on it is trespassing. And you get shot down for it.
Docking Computer also tries to land on incorrect landing pad.
Work Around: Test every other active landing pad to see which is really yours.
Aka, musical chairs, in spaaaaaceeeeee!

Have fun!

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

"The instant death bug"

Could that be Thagoids by any chance?