A man asks his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
His wife says, "Take half and leave you!"
The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is 6, now get out!"
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If you want to know who is really man’s best friend,
put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car.
Come back an hour later, open the trunk,
and see which one is happy to see you.
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Q: Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?
A: The thief was spending less than his wife.
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A man comes home and sees a note on the refrigerator from his wife.
She wrote, "This isn't working. I'm at my mother's."
The man opens the fridge, the light turns on, and he says to himself,
"What the heck? The fridge is working fine!"