General / Off-Topic How do I tell everyone around me that I'm sick of it?

[verminstar]

I'm calling the GP tomorrow morning, as soon as I have the house to myself.

I am going to be blunt. I feel like I'm going to take my own life. Medicine is not working; need practical help learning social skills that I missed out on during formative years. There is a reason I consider myself : Technically, I am.

Then yer gonna be disappointed cos thats not how one learn social skills...not much any doctor can do fer ye apart from point ye in the right direction...yer the one who still has to do the hard work. There is no medication that can make ye more sociable...no special treatment thats gonna make a huge impact and if ye tell the doctor yer suicidal, the best yer gonna get is a couple days respite care at best, or a night in a cell at worst.

Ye think yer ? Ye think yer the only one here who is on the autistic spectrum? Those of us who are dont normally consider ourselves ...even the suggestion is highly insulting as thats not how autism works. I have excellent social skills when I put my mind to it, though I simply prefer my own company and stay largely in the background...is that ? Thats bearing in mind Ive had issues going back to my early childhood and while I know Im not normal, I would never consider meself a ...and neither should you because yer not.

Go to a mental hospital...see those guys wearing crash helmets and adult nappies being led by the hand everywhere they go? Thats a ...if thats not you then yer not a , just someone who is depressed and lashing out in anger...mostly at yerself, its where self harming begins.

Thats me being blunt right back at ye...technically, yer not a cos if ye are then that must mean everyone on the spectrum is a . Im guessing as ye mention the spectrum quite a few times that ye do know how the spectrum actually works and what it really means...?

What support groups do ye belong to? Dont say there arent any cos there are a great many especially in Europe...the US doesnt fare so great in this regard but yer from this neck of the woods so its a moot point. The support is there...but you gotta seek it out yerself and even yer doctor wont know that many besides those which are run by the health authority.

Sitting in yer house feeling sorry fer yerself and playing games all day long really isnt doin ye any favors...it may well calm ye down but its like a placebo...its not real and the effects are not lasting even if ye manage to convince yerself they are.

Threatening suicide...tell yer doctor that and he will give ye happy pills...tell the cops that and they will send ye to yer doctor or throw ye in a cell to sleep it off...depends on the cop really. The reason being that anyone who claims to be having suicidal thoughts are usually just attention seekers...threatening suicide is a surefire way of getting taken seriously alright, possibly not in the way ye intended however. The authorities have some very knee jerk responses to things like this...how would ye like to be handcuffed to yer bed and possibly sedated to keep ye calm?

Ye think things like this dont happen? If someone seriously wants to kill themselves, the last thing they do is shotgun it all over the internet. Those are the actions of someone seeking attention. Dont be that guy and sort yer depression out...and funnily enough, the best thing fer depression is the meds yer doctor gives ye...or weed so long as ye know exactly what yer smokin and ye trust the source.

If yer at the point of refusing meds, then the best anyone could do fer ye at this point is force them down yer neck while pinching yer nose to force ye to swallow them. You dont get to decide if yer meds are working or not...you are not qualified, doctors are ^

 

[Rob At Work]

Uni..Uni..Uni.. It's tough trying to change your view on stuff (believe me I know) but it's not impossible. You are fighting your own thoughts most of the time. First thing is are you taking your meds at the prescribed times? Second are you taking any additional substances (including alchol) - if so that NEVER helps. Third thing bad days are bad days and we all have them IT'S NORMAL. Wake up next day and start again no time limit do it at your pace me ole China.

GL dude we are all with you.

 

[ethelred]

Agree with my man Verminstar above.

My daughter's diagnosed with ASD and through her I do a lot of work with Autism charities. I can tell you there are many groups, UK wide that can help with social skills, training and so forth, as well as support for day to day living etc.

It's nice you consider venting here, but as most replies have said you need to seek professional help.

I'm in Bristol, which I think is close by so feel free to PM me and I can point you towards the right people to speak to.

 

[Hell Razor5543]

There is a reason I consider myself : Technically, I am.

I would NOT consider you to be (as, without being knowingly nasty, I would consider that somebody who does not have the ABILITY to learn skills (as opposed to unwilling to learn those skills) or RETAIN that knowledge would be (although I am probably wrong, and somebody will pick me up on this). You may not have the automatic skills to recognise body language (and social skills make use of body language), due to your Asperger's' Syndrome, but they can be learned (and you have shown that you are willing to learn them).

While your WRITEN social skills appear to be well developed, this could, in part, be down to the ability to correct any errors before hitting "Post", and being well read. I believe that what you really want to learn is face to face social skills. These skills are (especially for people with autism and related conditions) far harder to learn. There are books that can help. I recall one book (I cannot remember the title, but know I told you it in the past) that teaches you how to draw caricatures. My cousin (on the Isle of Wight) who has a mild form of Asperger's found that this book helped her to learn what the different expressions meant, as there are several pages with caricatures of all of the facial expressions, and what they are (happy, sad, anger, fear, amusement, and so on). Prior to that she could not recognise individual expressions (and she is of an age where autism was not a recognised condition, so school did not help her to learn these skills).

Oh, by the way (and unrelated), pop into Poundland and take a look at their £1 shopping bags. They have one that says something like "Be the best you can, unless you can be a unicorn....Then be a unicorn).

 

[Slange Lands]

Do not drink alcohol, alcoholic ciders.
Alcohol is a depressant.
I am a depressive and when I drink , the first buzz may be nifty, but afterwards I plummet to the depths of hell.

 

[Patrick_68000]

Do not drink alcohol, alcoholic ciders.
Alcohol is a depressant.
I am a depressive and when I drink , the first buzz may be nifty, but afterwards I plummet to the depths of hell.

And bad for the health also

 

[Aasgard]

Your description reads as if you are suffering from depression - you have many of the signs (that I recognise) but as I don't know you personally, nor am I a medical practitioner, it would be best to go speak to a doctor.

That does not necessarily mean pills, but talking to someone first of all face to face is the first step to recovery.


Source: own experiences. Yes, I have been where you are today. You need help - go speak to someone.

The one thing you can do without any blow-back is talk to your GP. Set up monthly appointments and go and talk it through with your GP.
They can put you in-touch with counsellors who can help you work out ways to avoid / deal with situations that you feel comfortable with.
It is free and there are mindfulness forums out there that they can get you onto that are really useful for dealing with any form of stress, anxiety or other mental health issue.

Please, please, please do this and talk with your GP.

Then sign-up for Taekwon-do and/or Wing Chun Kung fu. One or two lessons and you'll have enough basic skills to deal with anyone trying to hurt you. The best thing is that mostly it's technique. Size, build, weight don't really matter in the early belts/sashes.
It's great fun practising take-downs and group sparring.
You only need to use it once and the attacker will never bother you again.

Sorry for pushing solutions at you.

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Well I told my family I'm feeling low.

...And WW3 starts.

So much for honesty being the best policy.

Frell this world. Frell every single last freller that breathes air.

Sick of it. Sick of being the bottom of the barrel and used as everyone's scapegoat.

At least Samartins listen. Only frellers who do.

 

[GJ51]

So how many of the videos that I recommended to you have you watched?

Why do I always feel like you consistently ignore simple advice so you can continue to play the victim?

Cleaned a bathroom yet?

Or is that beneath you?

There's an old saying from the Bible, "One does not spread pearls before swine."

Seems like that may apply here.

https://www.gotquestions.org/pearls-before-swine.html

 

[Asp Explorer]

Being a victim is currently fashionable.

It's the perfect excuse for having no excuses.

Pull your finger out - and DO something with your life. Only YOU can do that.

 

[Slange Lands]

Un1korn, you can do it! You can play this blasted game. You can change your life.

 

[Bob Lighthouse]

Any help or good vibes I send come with no expectations or baggage.
That would be poor of me.

It's because I really don't care at all!


Funny how that works.
I even treat people paying for my help the same way.


From one of my favorite Drs:

"When I freed myself from the responsibility for the *outcome* of the clinical encounter, something interesting happened. I freed my patients from blame, also."


"I don't care whether or not my patients get better. You shouldn't either. You absolutely cannot control that. I care in the general "I want other humans to be healthy and happy" sort of way. But that's it. I only care about what I can control. How can I best meet their needs? How can I improve my approach? Am I following the best evidence here? Did I connect with the patient well?
Focus on what you can improve. If other things in life beyond my control line up well then 90% or more of my patients will get a successful outcome. If none of those things beyond my control line up well then only 20% of them will. So, I focus on making my 20% of their recovery the best it can be. The other 70% is up to someone else."


Dr Jason Silvernail


Also this, along the same lines:
https://keithpkorner.wordpress.com/2014/10/25/i-dont-care/

 

[Hell Razor5543]

One of my simplest philosophies in life is this;

There are only TWO types of problems in life; those YOU can resolve, and those YOU cannot resolve. Resolve the ones YOU can resolve, and pass the ones YOU cannot resolve onto somebody else who can. Then you should also lower the stress in your life.

For example, I can do basic (and a bit more) maintenance on my car. I can change the oil, filters, and so on. However, I have no idea how to change the clutch. When she needed an oil change (and related work) I did it. When she needed her clutch to be changed I got a Citroen specialist to do it. Minimal (to me) stress and fuss. OK, I had to pay to get the clutch sorted, but when you employ a professional to do a job you expect to pay for it to be done. I solved the problems I could, and passed the problems I could not deal with to somebody who could.

 

[Pyrotiger]

I am sorry to hear of your pain.

As always, I wish you well.

 

[Deleted member 110222]

One of my simplest philosophies in life is this;

There are only TWO types of problems in life; those YOU can resolve, and those YOU cannot resolve. Resolve the ones YOU can resolve, and pass the ones YOU cannot resolve onto somebody else who can. Then you should also lower the stress in your life.

For example, I can do basic (and a bit more) maintenance on my car. I can change the oil, filters, and so on. However, I have no idea how to change the clutch. When she needed an oil change (and related work) I did it. When she needed her clutch to be changed I got a Citroen specialist to do it. Minimal (to me) stress and fuss. OK, I had to pay to get the clutch sorted, but when you employ a professional to do a job you expect to pay for it to be done. I solved the problems I could, and passed the problems I could not deal with to somebody who could.

The problem is I don't feel like I can do anything. Like, any time I try it just causes conflict.

Am I being the victim? Damn right I am. You think I want to though? Do be serious...

 

[Hell Razor5543]

The problem is I don't feel like I can do anything. Like, any time I try it just causes conflict.

Am I being the victim? Damn right I am. You think I want to though? Do be serious...

Then (based on your recent posts in this thread) I would consider it is reasonable to suggest your are being bullied/controlled at home. If I am right, get out of there. Nobody can have a decent quality of life if their home environment is toxic to them.

 

[Shinji Ikari]

The problem is every time I leave my room, I get attacked.

I've not been able to find anywhere that just treats me with indifference. It's just hate wherever I go.

What do you mean by attacked? How would strangers know of your condition if you don't speak to them?

 

[GJ51]

Am I being the victim? Damn right I am. You think I want to though? Do be serious...

Your behavior is at odds with your stated goals. And, yes - I am being gravely serious, even though you ignore any recommended courses of action designed to help you start small to move you in the right direction. Your posts so far indicate nothing but self-denial. You may not THINK that you do not want to be a victim, but your inability to take any steps to change indicate that you are lying to yourself and refuse to admit it.

Did you clean the kitchen?

Seems like you just "want" but aren't willing to do the work necessary to achieve your goals.

 

[Deleted member 110222]

Then (based on your recent posts in this thread) I would consider it is reasonable to suggest your are being bullied/controlled at home. If I am right, get out of there. Nobody can have a decent quality of life if their home environment is toxic to them.

And where do I go? I have no money. Hell, my mum controls it.

What do I do? It's this or the streets. Me moving was meant to end the stress. Now I feel worse. I can't even turn the fan on without being shouted at.

 

[GJ51]

And where do I go? I have no money. Hell, my mum controls it.

What do I do? It's this or the streets. Me moving was meant to end the stress. Now I feel worse. I can't even turn the fan on without being shouted at.

Did you make your bed today?