PvP I've been corrupted *sigh*

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My practice of translating other people's posts has already gained the attention of the moderation team.
I've the points to prove it - so as much as I'd like to translate your posts I also don't want any more nasty-grams.

This when I'm a new participant on this forum - which kind of makes them forum poster seal clubbers!
Could you please begin by translating your own post and share with the community details of your own personality and 'Real life' even though it breaks the Forum Rules There is actually a list.
 
Any plans for a beginners section to the forums? A safe zone? Should there be forum missions? What about forum posting tutorial videos?
 

The Replicated Man

T
I hope our paths cross soon, but if not, we can always have a shindig at Jameson one day. ;) I have a phantom I'm cooking which should be fun. Just don't bring missiles. ;)
The missiles shall stay in my storage. I don't usually run them in "Arranged" fights.
 
seal clubbing was that it took advantage not of a player's inherent lack of skill or willingness to learn, but simply ED's

Seal clubbing

When an individual who is highly skilled at a task, competes with other people who are relatively new/unskilled at said task. Often used in multiplayer video games.
"Man, John went seal clubbing in tf2 the other day. The other team didn't even know what hit them."

Never fails https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Seal clubbing
 
Could you please begin by translating your own post and share with the community details of your own personality and 'Real life' even though it breaks the Forum Rules There is actually a list.

Yes, of course.

I'm a middle-aged male. I suspect that even though I have a high paying job at a large university - that seems important - the sad truth is that for the most part I've wasted my life. As much as I'd like to start over and do more meaningful things I've neither the will power or the energy to invest time in some exciting new endeavor. I pretty much live to play Elite Dangerous, which is fine with my wife of 30 years because that means I'm not bothering her so that she can binge watch 'Chopped' while eating ice cream and crying into the wee hours of the morning.

Truth is, playing this game is a side attraction to the tiny thrill I get making jokes on this forum - each like +1 is like a little shot of adrenalin that gives vigor and energy to my flagging self-esteem. What else? Oh, I drive a small foreign made car, the best part of my day outside of this forum is a carmel/mocha latte at a local coffee shop which I cannot have anymore because I'm getting fat, my belly flipping down my underwear band reminding me of the fact - much like the popup timer on one of those turkeys. It really is disgusting. I shant elaborate further. I hope to save enough money to enjoy retirement for 5 years before throwing myself off a bridge.

I bought a DBX yesterday.
I painted it green.

I also have matching paint on my SRVs.

I like green.
 
Yes, of course.

I'm a middle-aged male. I suspect that even though I have a high paying job at a large university - that seems important - the sad truth is that for the most part I've wasted my life. As much as I'd like to start over and do more meaningful things I've neither the will power or the energy to invest time in some exciting new endeavor. I pretty much live to play Elite Dangerous, which is fine with my wife of 30 years because that means I'm not bothering her so that she can binge watch 'Chopped' while eating ice cream and crying into the wee hours of the morning.

Truth is, playing this game is a side attraction to the tiny thrill I get making jokes on this forum - each like +1 is like a little shot of adrenalin that gives vigor and energy to my flagging self-esteem. What else? Oh, I drive a small foreign made car, the best part of my day outside of this forum is a carmel/mocha latte at a local coffee shop which I cannot have anymore because I'm getting fat, my belly flipping down my underwear band reminding me of the fact - much like the popup timer on one of those turkeys. It really is disgusting. I shant elaborate further. I hope to save enough money to enjoy retirement for 5 years before throwing myself off a bridge.

I bought a DBX yesterday.
I painted it green.

I also have matching paint on my SRVs.

I like green.

I started reading this and all I could hear in my head was the "My name is Yoshikage Kira..." copypasta.
 
Listen, I used to work at a Goodwill and I don't appreciate you triggering my repressed memories.

In a gross miscarriage of justice I was once sentenced to 40 hours of community service at a similar establishment. They made me wash windows with newspaper, and I got the worst lung infection of my life from inhaling diseased filth. On the upside, I stole a decent couch and a dart board my last day in recompense.
 
In a gross miscarriage of justice I was once sentenced to 40 hours of community service at a similar establishment. They made me wash windows with newspaper, and I got the worst lung infection of my life from inhaling diseased filth. On the upside, I stole a decent couch and a dart board my last day in recompense.

"See? Gankers are baaaaaad people in real life!!!!!!"

-
an upcoming post, probably
 
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