With that hardware it suggests you haven't/can't play elite in VR? If not you cannot possibly comment on the VR discussion. And you will be playing on a monitor with settings well down on optimal. Elite is a seated game, I play it on a small desk in the corner, I use a rift S that has no external trackers and works happily in low light. You don't need more space to play elite in VR that you do on keyboard/mouse. And I am a single parent not that I see the relevance.
I can comment on what I like- I'm pointing out VR is not as important to FD as people think it is, otherwise FD would have made more of an effort to include it in all of ED:O. I don't need VR to observe that. And all my settings are medium believe it or not, and outside stations FPS > 60. When I was playing on a PS4 with PSVR it had to be set up properly otherwise it was sub-optimal.
I had the option once of going full on with gaming hardware, top end custom PC with VR headset, huge monitor but did not, because for me I don't have the room, and kids running about (so for me having delicate hardware in reach is not an option). I could not justify that cost, and, I imagine a lot of people think similar things. Having VR is a luxury and not in impulse buy territory yet. When it is, I expect VR to be the norm and not the exception.
And you don't know how the FPS part of ED:O will translate to seated gaming- you are seated in a ship but what happens when you get up?