I want to agree with you, but I can't. I played EVE for years and years and years. A part of your post is correct, but you have to distinguish two types here. There's the individual identity and there's a strange thing which is the group identity. The group identity is very studied, is known to exist and allows you to feel about things that you yourself had no part in. Like when your team win the cup being a 'good' example, some germans still feeling a sense of guilt for something that had nothing to do with them, being a 'bad' example.
The individual identities are as you say, the EVE Community is made up of literally thousands of actually decent people. I know, I was one of them, I met a lot of them. But the Eve Community identity is toxic. It encourages lawlessness, encourages backstabbing, teaches you never to completely trust your friends (this is particularly true if your run a corporation or empire as I did) and has a general attitude of 'htfu'. I see a lot of that (particularly htfu) from a lot of migrants from the eve community to here.
Remember this isn't comparing the game EVE to the game Elite Dangerous. The OP wishes to compare the communities. And this is where we have to be particularly wary. There is a lot of cross-over. Most of the people I know here have played EVE at some point or other and most of us have left citing that very community identity your post denies exists.
I think this is probably what the OP meant to write, or something similar.
I'm not comparing the games. Nowhere do I compare the games. I warn of the habit I have seen on these forums where people associate Eve Online players with "evil" just because it's something they heard. You cite your own personal experience. My personal experience is very different. You need to be extra careful when conflating people to groups when you mean game mechanics and meta gaming as that has room for error. You cannot lump everyone together, it sounds too much like the race arguments from the fifties and sixties!
An example, from real life, from Eve Online actually.
A few years ago, several years ago in fact, the Goons swoop to join the game. I know myself that they were generally disliked from the outset by many. Corporations and alliances alike ran membership lists and lists of known alternative characters to help avoid accidentally recruiting Goon spies. Later, many alliances actually invited them to be allies and benefited from doing so. The Goons even had membership on the Council of Stellar Management and then another (and probably more than one) later got employed by CCP. One as head of information security.
Strange that. I'm not a Goon by the way, but they did go from universally reviled to some of the more powerful positions in game. Why is that do you think? Was it because they caused so much disruption? Did they kill a lot of player characters? Well, you could posit that but what they absolutely did do was open their doors and say, "Hey new guy we have very few rules, just hop in a frigate and you can be part of the major battles in the game". The major selling point of Eve is the huge battles and the Goons delivered them in spades.
The more traditional organisations in game had new players sit in stations for months going on mining exercises (donating all ore to the respective corps) before they would allow them a chance at going to 0.0 space and smothered the players in rules in comparison. It was just less fun. Eventually, and with various other contributory factors such as fighting against an organisation that was accused of cheating with the developer assistance, Goonfleet dominated the map and the the tide of opinion turned.
So here we are, discussing Elite and Eve and separate communities where we stand at a crossroads of sorts.
Those not willing to embrace Eve players because of nothing more than rumour. Fearful Eve players may be a disruptive influence and mistakenly assuming Eve players all want a new version of Eve when Eve is actually a very different game.
Eve players, many of which yearned for a game like Elite and are now being met by some quite harsh posts judging them for the game they used to play. "Leave your Eve baggage at the door" in this thread alone.
And of course those players more welcoming in nature.
Do you really want to create and fuel a divisive community with a constant battle against Eve and Elite? Aren't ex-Eve players Elite players too? Do I really have to type, "Can't we all just get along?"