There is the key difference between a single-player game and a persistent game. The single-player game can be hard because you have nothing really to lose. A persistent game has to be easy enough to not put new players off. Sorry, but ED isn't designed for us Elite players, it's calibrated for noobs. It has to be.
A good multiplayer game is designed to cater for players of different skill levels. Just like many good MMO have a lot of content which can be done by John Doe or, if he is away, by his cat walking over the keyboard. And the same good MMOs have content which still provides a challenge for the top 5% of all players. The difference being: that hardest content of course is fully optional, nobody ever needs to do it, it's merely there for bragging rights. And thus indeed is opt-in.
So according to those MMOs, the design of ED kind of works: any danger is opt-in. But ED also wants to be seen as an actual world. (If they would not, the whole BGS could be scrapped with no damage done. ) And then the given design fails.
So mostly your statement is right, the game has to be designed in a way that a new player can make his way. Without studing stuff for a week... as during that week, most will just go to another game, where they can have fun right from the start and all of the time.
But i also dare to say that ED at some time shortly after launch was much better in the aspect of realism vs. new player survivability. [Getting into the game and learning all the cryptic stuff is a different story. The game got a bit better there, but could still also be improved a lot. ] Police and pirated did interdict. Without the player having to have a mission which triggers it. The world felt more alive. But with power creeping up, especially with engineers, and the developers feeling the need to upgrade NPCs, the gap between new player and veteran just got wider all of the time. Till FD decided that the "feels alive" part of the game had to be cut down, to allow new players to still survive.
I still wish that a lot of the changes were reverted and cut to size. I believe that it would improve the game in many aspects, including having the option again, to have a more "alive" universe.