Elite always had harsh consequences for certain actions. This has simply been carried over to Elite: Dangerous, and I think a lot of people appreciate this rather than want it changed. Personally, I don't agree with any of your points, and don't have an issue with the current situation.
Friendly fire will not get a bounty at all if it is just a couple of shots. To get a bounty, you've got to have done a fair bit of damage to the friendly ship. A couple of shots will simply get you a warning. At the point you have a bounty, you've not been paying attention.
Police will always attack you if you have a bounty. Bounty hunters won't (I've received several messages from bounty hunters that they'll return when I'm "relevant" - this is if my bounty is small).
Fair enough; peoples tastes differ.
FF not incurring an immediate bounty - ok, cool. I don't do combat usually so I don't know all the intricacies but past posts indicated this was a thing and that was my initial thought too before I trawled my logs.
A single incident, which was likely an incomplete scan of a wanted ship before I opened fire, resulted in me getting an incredibly minor bounty followed by the (IMHO) completely OTT response by the cops (while other ships were actively killing miners within sight of the cops!).
In my mind it's like wrestling a suspected (I didn't see it myself, someone just yelled "thief") shoplifter to the ground and the cops piling on me, while half-way down the street someone else is threatening people with a knife people and getting ignored. A bit silly, no?
YES to a heavy-handed response to actual criminal activity. But reduce the heavy-handedness for lesser infractions. Attacking an innocent ship (or gods forbid, another cop) should always be a worse offence than not quite waiting for a scan to finish before engaging a wanted criminal.