Well I'm club '93 if that's a thing rather than 84, but I also play in VR, love the immersion and like the game.
I have done the grind in a number of MMOs, and I did Earth-Barnards star a good deal in Frontier, but I just decided not to with E : D. If there isn't something I want to do that's fun, I just don't play. Realised from Alpha that you can have fun in a sidewinder and be bored in an Anaconda, so I take it from there.
That said, there are plenty of legitimate criticisms. If you compare Elite to a typical MMO, yes they both have cookie cutter repetitive missions/quests, and endlessly spawning mobs/npcs to kill, etc.
But your typical MMO would have a lot of unique hand crafted content on top of that. You would have hundreds of none-repeating quests and dialog. Dungeons, unique locations, boss encounters, raids, crafting etc. If you launched a generic MMO with just repeatable quests, it would get slaughtered.
Now, I'm not for a minute saying they should add those things to Elite. Most of them would be totally inappropriate. But there should be something that is appropriate instead. Currently, the game has only the grindy elements and not the more interesting, rare or one off stuff that punctuates the grind.
But we don't want a cookie cutter save the world story! No, but that's not the only alternative. Meaningful consequences, events that lead to other events, some sort of exploration gameplay - things that allow stories to develop in the game rather than in our heads.
What if I jump in to a distress call and save the day, I'm then asked to escort the crippled ship to a dock, then smuggle a hunted passenger to safety hunted by criminals and the authorities alike? We have something a bit more interesting.
If I grind missions with a research organisation and that leads to them telling me that one of their scouts reported an site of interest far beyond civilised space.. but they have lost contact with that individual. I have to track them down, get to the location and study it before returning the findings safely, that breaks up the grind. Perhaps by working with these organisations I gain access to specialist research equipment, or the coordinates of interesting sites.
What if I've been doing military missions in an area, and simultaneously a neighbouring system degenerates in to anarchy.. I'm asked to go in and recover some key personnel stranded on a base. I fail, things escalate. I fly some combat missions, then I'm asked to infiltrate a scanning station and gather data from it. It reveals that another faction is working to destabilise this system. A battle fleet is dispatched and I'm asked to go with it, getting missions on the move from the capital ship.
But as it is, when I save someone in a distress call, the game world doesn't care. It made no difference that I did that. Exploring is just go places, because you can. There's no particular difficulty in doing it, or interesting consequences of doing it beyond personally seeing what's there.When I go to a conflict zone, there are endless spawns thrown at each other. Nobody can win, and nothing would happen if they did.
Most of what I made up above does not require new game mechanics, just new ways to present them. It doesn't even need to be hand written, most of that could be procedurally generated from the existing universe. Much of it is still well short of long standing ideas in the DDF. The elephant in the room is persistence - we don't have persistent NPCs or consequences, just current mission and current standing.
So I enjoy the game, it's a wonderful universe with enjoyable combat and huge potential. But to do that justice, there should be more than these superficial mechanics which have no lasting consequence. Elite's universe is huge and beautiful. Its combat is fun. But while seeing the world, killing respawns and getting better gear might be the crux of many games, it shouldn't be literally all of them.
They need to apply the same amazing procedural generation talent to gameplay, mission and event generation that they have to the galaxy and planet generation.