I'll start with my usual disclaimer. I'm not a PvPer in ED. I'm not much of a PvPer at all but I have been in the past - racing games like Gran Turismo, shooting games like CoD & Battlefield - but at the moment the only game I play regularly where I'm exposed to PvP is Red Dead Online. The Elite games were always a solo experience and that's the way I like to play them, even though the latest iteration has a multiplayer option. Great if people want it, but personally I don't use it.
This kind of thread isn't at all unusual. There's a massive rift between PvPers and non-PvPers in this game, I think we all know that. The number of threads I've seen in my few years on this forum about ganking & griefing. combat logging, open-only-this-that-or-the-other, are too many to recall.
I think, in a way, the problem boils down to FDev's love for 'realism'. In particular one thing that I've always thought was an odd idea for a game like this. The rebuy. It's kind of realistic in the sense that it's insurance with an 'excess' to pay just like a lot of RL insurance. Nice idea maybe for an RPG, but for an MMO it has serious consequences for PvP gameplay.
ED's biggest problem with PvP is that the consequences for anyone losing a PvP encounter can be huge, and that becomes an even bigger problem if the PvP is non-consensual. Yeah, I know, I know, now all the PvP supporters are shouting "It's called Elite DANGEROUS!". Yes, it is, and that phrase is often rolled out in these arguments, but it doesn't change the fact that the unusually high risk of PvP in this game affects players behaviour - on both sides of the argument - so maybe it's something that does need to be addressed.
If I lose PvP in GranTurismo there's nothing hurt but my pride. If I get killed in a multiplayer FPS game, I usually wait a few seconds and respawn, no big deal. Even in Red Dead Online (which is probably the most relevant example here), there's a PvP toggle so if I get shot by a griefer while in non-PvP mode what happens? I just respawn some distance away... plus I have the option to 'press charges' and increase the griefer's bounty level. I don't lose any money, I don't lose any items, the most annoying thing is if the griefer 'kills' my horse then I have to call up the temporary 'Scrawny Nag' and ride to a stable to collect my healed horse. Even then if it's non-consensual the griefer has to pay the 'vet bill' to revive the horse, which in other cases would be my cost. However in the single player version of Red Dead Redemption - the story mode - character death results in a percentage loss of money, which increases in steps if you get killed again within a certain time limit, so it can be very costly. Horse death in single player is worse, if your horse dies in story mode it's dead, that's it, buy a new horse.
I honestly think FDev should take a look at the Read Dead approach to loss in both single and multiplayer. It seems the more sensible way to do it. If losing your spaceship in ED wasn't such a big thing I think a lot more people would be interested in PvP and Open mode in general. I'm not saying get rid of the rebuy entirely... just remove it from Open, keep it in Solo, hey maybe even go hardcore like Red Dead and make Solo mode seriously Dangerous.