Elite With Chuck Norris

[[VR] Deggial]

There is no point in choosing exploration as a career, Chuck Norris already discovered the entire universe. With one scan. Using a basic discovery scanner.

With a SCB

Nope. This would have been MacGyver!

 

[Brimstone]

Chuck Norris plucked a beard hair from his face, and put it on Michael Brooke's face. Brooke's now has an epic magical beard. This epic magical beard is responsible for all Elite lore.

 

[Sir.Tj]

Chuck Norris is to become the new Frontier Forum Moderator.....

The forum instantly behaves itself and the rest of the Mods sigh with relief.

 

[Loudstorm]

Chuck Norris can land on planet in season 1.

 

[Kzak]

In spaceports, player can buy new ships. Chuck Norris doesn't have to do this. Chuck Norris is his own ship.

 

[anikaiful]

Dark Matter, Dark Energy... such puzzling concepts. Had the scientists thought to use Chuck Norris in their equations it all would've made sense from the get go.

 

[Mephane]

When Chuck Norris just looks at an assassination mission, the target self-destructs.

Haha this is the best, repped!

Hutton Orbital was originally at Alpha Centauri A. A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris catapulted it to Proxima Centauri.

 

[matemaster]

It was recently discovered that Sagittarius A a is not a black hole but it's Chuck Norris's RES

 

[Stigbob]

Supernova's are Chuck Norris's deploying his discovery scanner. He hasn't activated it......yet.

 

[matemaster]

Chuck Norris is the only thing in the universe that can escape from within a black hole by roundhouse kicking it to the parallel universe

 

[Aerodeon]

Chuck Norris does not need an advanced discovery scanner; he sees and knows all.
Chuck Norris does not need lasers; he wears down shields with harsh language.
Chuck Norris does not need a multi-cannon; he winds down the window and flicks nose-goblins.
Chuck Norris does not need launch thrusters; he stands on top of his ship and pulls.
Chuck Norris does not need a fuel scoop; he siphons the nearest sun through a straw.

 

[Milkdragon]

the big bang was chuck norris sneezing.
thargoid didnt remove their fear glands..... It actually exploded because of the sight of chuck.

 

[newman1702]

Chuck Norris does not ask for docking clearance; he just stares at a starbase until it moves around him and gently sets him down on a docking pad.
Chuck Norris once made the trip to Sag A and back - in one jump.
Chuck Norris does not need the FPS module to roundhouse kick other players.
Combat loggers self destruct instead when Chuck Norris interdicts them.
Chuck Norris has no idea what this "rebuy cost" number is for.

 

[Some1else]

The four forces that keep the universe together don’t exist. It’s actually Chuck Norris’s will.

 

[newman1702]

The four forces that keep the universe together don’t exist. It’s actually Chuck Norris’s will.

Interesting, I thought the four forces referred to: Chuck Norris's left fist, right fist, left foot and right foot.. This will change our entire cosmological model of the universe.

 

[Komemiute]

He doesn't land on planets, he grants them to dock to him. Not his ship- HIM.

He can't allow them to leave, he roundhouse-kick them away.

But in all honesty...This is ridiculous.
If he really was so AMAZING AND OMNISCIENT he'd come to my room and bang my forehead on my computer keybsjdfcshryldimnh khyvuavasijoafwedò,oijvcsd<hv+.lo.va<sd jha9'0èl.iosvcdl jb

 

[newman1702]

Chuck Norris can land an Anaconda on outposts.
Frontier once tried to ban Chuck Norris; the developers ended up unable to play the game for a month.

 

[Tom Areani]

It is said that if a pilot ever successfully interdicts Chuck Norris, he will grant that pilot a hill of gold, a private planet (earth like), a fleet of A-speced condas, immortality, and an epic beard. Too bad its physically impossible to interdict Chuck.

Chuck Norris does not hunt bounties, because the word "hunt" implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing...

Chuck Norris HAS been shot down, only once. It was a pilot named "Bruce Lee". Bruce later died of mysterious circumstances...

Chuck Norris is so awesome, he once sewed a guy that wrote a book full of "Chuck Norris Facts", then later released a book titled "Chuck Norris' favorite Chuck Norris facts." Wait what?

 

[Sandro Sammarco]

Chuck Norris's ship doesn't need turrets - he just roundhouse kicks the universe until the target is aligned with his guns. Which is just for show, because Chuck Norris's ship doesn't bother deploying guns - it deploys Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris scans your ship, you're wanted.


Chuck Norris scoops fuel with his hands.


Chuck Norris once plugged a black hole.


When Chuck Norris approaches the universe, the universe uses Chuck Norris as a frame of reference.


Chuck Norris yaws.


Chuck Norris doesn't drop from super cruise, he merely drops super cruise.


Every point Chuck Norris makes is a hardpoint.


Chuck Norris folds time and space by hand, and still ends up with a longer jump range than any known FSD.


When Chuck Norris performs a round house kick he flips the system.


Combat Logging against Chuck Norris doesn't work - no-one escapes Chuck Norris.


Factions complete missions in order to increase their reputation with Chuck Norris


Planets roll around the feet of Chuck Norris, trying to explore him.


Fixed weapons suffer confusion when targeting Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris can pause the game.

 

[Lunchmoney]