I agree to an extent, but you're missing something massive that I didn't see you mention...
This game was kickstarted - which will show a MAJOR ownership (in the minds of people who backed) to the community. Not only that, but when it all started there was a group that specifically talked about and suggested/reported ideas to the developers. It was a privileged group that I once heard the Lave Radio guys talk about and that group was closed (can't remember the name of it for the life of me) by FD.
This game was supposed to be fueled by the community- so more than any other forum out there the "complaining" you here is likely done by people (like me) who have thousands of hours (over 3,000 personally) invested in a game that they played a certain way for over a year and a half... which is their right.
What would happen in GTA5 if all of the sudden you got 5-stars, merryweather, and tanks for hitting a pedestrian in your car?
What would happen in CRYSIS 3 if you suddenly couldn't regen your stealth suit energy and had to pick it up or no longer had your bow?
People are upset because regardless of who wanted more challenging opponents and who didn't, who's income was crushed and who's wasn't... the game was changed drastically. Not upgraded or bug-fixed - but the entire game (that some people knew) is nothing like what people have paid over $60 for now twice. That is something disrespectful, unappreciative of the money we've spent, and inconsiderate of every single player's wishes by not giving a poll to see how many people actually wanted defcon 5 AI and even more grinding. By doing this the way they did (considering the beta forums looked exactly like this for weeks already), they brought this on themselves.
The lead designer of the AI only ever replied to the people in beta who wanted tougher AI which she obviously wanted an opportunity to show her awesomeness to all those very same people who'd complained in the past that the AI sucked so bad. Is it rude to blatantly disrespect the people I saw comment that literally only had one arm and now couldn't defeat anyone? The people who were 25 when they played the first Elite (30 years ago) and couldn't possibly keep up with the new AI due to their age,sight,etc? That alone was a direct show of how much "the community" is considered in their game that was made because said community made it so with their money.
So who is rude? The people who did that, or the people who paid for something that has changed now to the point where it's completely unenjoyable for 75% of the people playing it?
To finish my two-cents, I do agree that people are quite unappreciative jerks when it comes to how they present their opinions. But as a parent I've learned to read between the lines and see that some people aren't trying to be jerks... they just feel so strongly about a game (which is actually a compliment) that they feel betrayed, hurt, and abandoned when things like this are done to them.
That, is how I feel and indeed a suggestion on how to correct it... actually ask the children how they're feeling- it'll let them know you care. And not something that has to be done during one certain hour (or even 8 certain hours) of a live stream where your questions are ignored if they aren't one someone wants to answer. Make a poll that's done like the ship buy-back that forces all players to make one multiple choice answer one time with one of the choices being "unbiased/no comment/ N/A".