News GalNet Submissions

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Gemai

Gemai
JeffRyan said:
Prismatic Imperium allies will be in the Cubeo system. Factions pledging support include Paladin Consortium, Achenar Immortals, Empire 13th Legion, Aisling’s Angels, Pileus Libertas, (Aisling) Slack Prime, among others.

Prismatic military forces are being led by Overseer Jesse Ladde, whilst independent pilots are under the command of the Lord Warden UntamedZer0.
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I don't want to come along as judgemental, but at least this part sounds very Meta and I wouldn't post Meta news parts in a roleplay/lore enviroment either.
Not sure if FD would do such things anyway. The news clearly adhere to ingame lore and logic most of the time and this doesn't really cut it. This is not written in a news-like style.
 
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Rubbernuke

Rubbernuke
JeffRyan said:
Title: War for Control of Cubeo
Location: Galnet, Cubeo
Time: ASAP
Description:

War in Aisling's Cubeo system as Cubeo's Patron's Principles attack controlling faction The Prismatic Imperium.

Governor Michelle Bright pledged allegiance to Aisling Duval, though she also struck at the heart of the Princess's Stop Slavery Stupid Campaign, 'Cubeo has enough troubles of it’s own. I speak for the majority of our traditionalists when I say we don’t need millions of slaves moving into our space every year!'

Lord Ryan struck back, 'We prove time and time again that the platform we build the Prismatic Imperium on is a diamond strengthened by the commitment of our Imperial societies working together.'

Prismatic Imperium allies will be in the Cubeo system. Factions pledging support include Paladin Consortium, Achenar Immortals, Empire 13th Legion, Aisling’s Angels, Pileus Libertas, (Aisling) Slack Prime, among others.

Prismatic military forces are being led by Overseer Jesse Ladde, whilst independent pilots are under the command of the Lord Warden UntamedZer0.

- - - - - Additional Content Posted / Auto Merge - - - - -



I doubt that's the reason, this was the first article I've written that ignored the 150 limit. Wasn't even that much over and it's a guideline anyway. It's just frustrating as I never get feedback and we tried telling longform stories on GalNet (at least twice) both of which ended up being left off because of the randomness of the submission process.
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If I can give some advice, your piece lacks a journalistic style.

I did a quick edit to show you what I mean, and I apologise if names and organisations are wrong (I'm not familiar with your groups).

___

Blood Diamond

As war engulfed Cubeo, Governor Michelle Bright last night pledged allegiance to Aisling Duval despite her recent criticism of Aislings Stop Slavery Stupid Campaign, stating: "Cubeo has enough troubles of it’s own. I speak for the majority of our traditionalists when I say we don’t need millions of slaves moving into our space every year."

In an angry riposte, Lord Ryan who represents the Prismatic Imperium struck back: 'We prove time and time again that the platform we build the Prismatic Imperium on is a diamond strengthened by the commitment of our Imperial societies working together. To demonstrate this Prismatic Imperium allies led by Overseer Jesse Ladde will be in the Cubeo system, including the Paladin Consortium, Achenar Immortals, Empire 13th Legion, Aisling’s Angels, Pileus Libertas and Aisling's Slack Prime, with independent pilots under the command of Lord Warden UntamedZer0.'
 
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Ian Dingwall

Narrative Lead
Frontier
JeffRyan said:
I never get feedback
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As noted in the guidelines at the top of this thread, we typically only give feedback if there are small, objective issues with a submission (e.g. mentioning a particular character or organisation that we intend to use in our own story, or neglecting to include a location for publication). Given the finite amount of time at our disposal, it isn’t possible for us to enter into a discussion about more complex or subjective issues.

With that said, in this case I would suggest that trying to mirror the style of our ‘galactic news’ and ‘community goal’ stories will give you a better chance of publication.

One of the hallmarks of real-world news is that there is always context – it’s never assumed that the reader is familiar with the pertinent elements of the story. So, for example, this sentence:

"War in Aisling's Cubeo system as Cubeo's Patron's Principles attack controlling faction The Prismatic Imperium."

Could be revised along the following lines:

"Authorities in the Cubeo system have reported conflict between Cubeo Patron's Principles and the system’s controlling faction the Prismatic Imperium."

And in the third paragraph, you could perhaps explain who Lord Ryan is before elaborating on what he said and did, e.g.

"Lord Ryan, leader of the Prismatic Imperium, struck back..."

I hope that’s helpful.
 

JeffRyan

JeffRyan
Ian Dingwall said:
As noted in the guidelines at the top of this thread, we typically only give feedback if there are small, objective issues with a submission (e.g. mentioning a particular character or organisation that we intend to use in our own story, or neglecting to include a location for publication). Given the finite amount of time at our disposal, it isn’t possible for us to enter into a discussion about more complex or subjective issues.

With that said, in this case I would suggest that trying to mirror the style of our ‘galactic news’ and ‘community goal’ stories will give you a better chance of publication.

One of the hallmarks of real-world news is that there is always context – it’s never assumed that the reader is familiar with the pertinent elements of the story. So, for example, this sentence:

"War in Aisling's Cubeo system as Cubeo's Patron's Principles attack controlling faction The Prismatic Imperium."

Could be revised along the following lines:

"Authorities in the Cubeo system have reported conflict between Cubeo Patron's Principles and the system’s controlling faction the Prismatic Imperium."

And in the third paragraph, you could perhaps explain who Lord Ryan is before elaborating on what he said and did, e.g.

"Lord Ryan, leader of the Prismatic Imperium, struck back..."

I hope that’s helpful.
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Thanks Ian, the problem was probably my attempting to use the real-world news pyramid structure whilst being limited to 150 words (most of the time) created some bad habits.
 

JeffRyan

JeffRyan
Title: War for Control of Cubeo
Location: Galnet, Cubeo
Time: ASAP
Description:

CUBEO, War is raging in Aisling Duval's Headquarter system of Cubeo today as Cubeo's Patron's Principles stage an attack on Aisling's representative controlling faction The Prismatic Imperium.

Whilst Governor Michelle Bright, leader of Cubeo's Patron Principles, pledged allegiance to Aisling Duval, in the same breath she also struck at the heart of the Princess's Stop Slavery Stupid Campaign, 'Lord Corwin Ryan has forced our hand. Cubeo has enough troubles of it’s own. I speak for the majority of our traditionalists when I say we don’t need millions of slaves moving into our space every year!'

Lord Corwin Ryan, leader of the Prismatic Imperium, struck back immediately, 'We prove time and time again that the platform we build the Prismatic Imperium on is a diamond strengthened by the commitment of our Imperial societies working together. I have faith that our support for Aisling Duval and our efforts to eliminate the dependence on a slavery driven economy will gain us favor in our current conflict.'

Prismatic Imperium allies will be in the Cubeo system. Factions pledging support include Paladin Consortium, Achenar Immortals, Empire 13th Legion, Aisling’s Angels, Pileus Libertas, (Aisling) Slack Prime, among others. Please use caution when targeting.

The Prismatic Imperium's military forces are being led by controverial Overseer Jesse Ladde, whilst independent pilots pledged to the Imperium are under the command of the Lord Warden UntamedZer0.

CMDR Corey Dunn
 

Jaggedmallard

Jaggedmallard
Gemai said:
You don't have to remember Jaggedmallard. Just read the FIRST post:

"Submissions should ideally be no more than 150 words long, but if a submission is particularly engaging, entertaining or imaginative, it is less important that it adhere to the word limit."
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I know it says that there but didn't it used to be 300?
 

Becks

Becks
Another question regarding this point in the rules:

Submissions should not ascribe specific words or actions to the engineers or to Powerplay characters, although you are free to make reference to these characters.
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Has a submission which describes a specific action a chance of being accepted, if that action is plausible for the character?

For example Hudson announcing that he will award medals to heroes of the Federal Navy who fought in the Pleiades? :rolleyes:
 

Adhock

A
JeffRyan said:
Thanks Ian, the problem was probably my attempting to use the real-world news pyramid structure whilst being limited to 150 words (most of the time) created some bad habits.
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Yeah I know what you mean. My first submitted piece tried to include some extra context for those "just tuning in" and I broke 500 words. It was longer then that before I trimmed some of the fluff off when I posted it. I still can't get under 200 words trying to ensure there's some understanding for those "just tuning in". So I'm betting mine aren't running simply due to me breaking the word limit. I've never been a fan of Twitter so 150 words to me is a ridiculous limit when trying to write a news story. But I don't set the rules, simply complain about them.

I'll probably never get anything to run but it's fun to try and other people seem to enjoy reading them. Hell a friend of mine who helped me break down those percentages borrowed the article for teaching a course on how including actual statistics in video games can be fun! I'll probably end up generating more they can use. I'm waiting for the CG to end before I run my next one. Need to see the outcome first.
 

JeffRyan

JeffRyan
Adhock said:
Yeah I know what you mean. My first submitted piece tried to include some extra context for those "just tuning in" and I broke 500 words. It was longer then that before I trimmed some of the fluff off when I posted it. I still can't get under 200 words trying to ensure there's some understanding for those "just tuning in". So I'm betting mine aren't running simply due to me breaking the word limit. I've never been a fan of Twitter so 150 words to me is a ridiculous limit when trying to write a news story. But I don't set the rules, simply complain about them.

I'll probably never get anything to run but it's fun to try and other people seem to enjoy reading them. Hell a friend of mine who helped me break down those percentages borrowed the article for teaching a course on how including actual statistics in video games can be fun! I'll probably end up generating more they can use. I'm waiting for the CG to end before I run my next one. Need to see the outcome first.
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I'll just stick to my own in-universe news site for the PI I think. I don't seem to fit through Galnet's hoops. The problem is when I try and cut down those articles for GalNet.

For example cutting down this to what was submitted.
 
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JeffRyan

JeffRyan
Gemai said:
I don't want to come along as judgemental, but at least this part sounds very Meta and I wouldn't post Meta news parts in a roleplay/lore enviroment either.
Not sure if FD would do such things anyway. The news clearly adhere to ingame lore and logic most of the time and this doesn't really cut it. This is not written in a news-like style.
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Those are the ingame names.
 

JeffRyan

JeffRyan
Gemai said:
*follows the link, reads the article*

It's well done. I will stick to my own approach for RP events ingame too. But seriously:


"Would You Like to Know More?"

This give me a huge Starship Troopers news flashback.
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It's a nod to that film, but I think you see my frustration, running a moderately successful news site, but unable to get published in game.
 

wolferr

wolferr
DATE: 8/16/3302
LOCATION: Jaques Station Eol Prou RS-T d3-94
TITLE: Slow Progress at Jaques
DESCRIPTION:
The latest effort to establish a base in EOL PROU by mining Osmium and delivering it to Jaques station is, "like pulling teeth," according to miners. After more than two weeks, and more than 3500 commanders volunteering, the goal is less than half completed.

"It's just so far, and I couldn't make the trip in a big rig with a short jump range," said a weary Commander Coulson. "All I could buy out here was aT6, so it's slow going." The good news, according to several sources, is that there is a pristine metallic ring around the fifth planet with large quantities of Os. The bad news, according to some, is that the ring is 2500 Ls from Jaques.

"At least, there are no Pirates out here yet. The scum are too lazy to fly all this way," said Coulson. Another miner, Commander Standish said, "A lot of folks signed up, but I don't see many of them here. I dropped 20 tons of Os at Jaques and I'm in the top 25%! Can't be that many people who actually made the trip. Or maybe they were claimed by the Black."

Miners speculate that large numbers of volunteers have succumbed to space sickness, heat mishaps and, "Lurkers in theBlack," on the long lonely trek to Jaques. "With the Jaunt to Jaques convoy on the way, I'm hoping to have alittle more company soon," said Standish.

CMDR RowanFalconWolf
 
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